Whatever it is that scares you, here are 10 ways to help you cope with your day-to-day fears and anxieties.
1. Take time out
It feels impossible to think clearly when you're flooded with fear or anxiety. A racing heart, sweating palms and feeling panicky and confused are the result of adrenalin. So, the first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down.
Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the
block, making a cup of tea or having a bath. When you've physically
calmed down, you'll feel better able to decide on the best way to cope.
2. What's the worst that can happen?
When you're anxious about something
– be it work, a relationship or an exam
– it
can help to think through what the worst end result could be. Even if a
presentation, a call or a conversation goes horribly wrong, chances are
that you and the world will survive. Sometimes the worst that can
happen is a panic attack.
If you start to get a faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best
thing is not to fight it. Stay where you are and simply feel the panic
without trying to distract yourself. Placing the palm of your hand on
your stomach and breathing slowly and deeply (no more than 12 breaths a
minute) helps soothe the body.
It may take up to an hour, but eventually the panic will go away on
its own. The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic,
which takes the fear of fear away.
3. Expose yourself to the fear
Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. If you panic one day getting
into a lift, it's best to get back into a lift the next day. Stand in
the lift and feel the fear until it goes away. Whatever your fear, if
you face it, it should start to fade.
4. Welcome the worst
Each time fears are embraced, it makes them easier to cope with the
next time they strike, until in the end they are no longer a problem.
Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – perhaps it's panicking
and having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a
heart attack. It's just not possible. The fear will run away the more
you chase it.
5. Get real
These tips are designed for people who are coping with day-to-day
fears and anxieties. If you have been diagnosed with an anxiety-related
condition, see our page on generalised anxiety disorder.
Fears tend to be much worse than reality. Often, people who have been
attacked can't help thinking they're going to be attacked again every
time they walk down a dark alley. But the chance that an attack will
happen again is actually very low.
Similarly, people sometimes tell themselves they're a failure because
they blush when they feel self-conscious. This then makes them more
upset. But blushing in stressful situations is normal. By remembering
this, the anxiety goes away.
6. Don't expect perfection
Black-and-white perfectionist thinking such as, "If I'm not the best
mum in the world, I'm a failure," or, "My DVDs aren't all facing in the
same direction, so my life is a mess," are unrealistic and only set us
up for anxiety.
Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be
perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it's essential to
remember that life is messy.
7. Visualise
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm
– it
could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up
in bed with the cat next to you, or a happy memory from childhood. Let
the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.
8. Talk about it
Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can't talk
to a partner, friend or family member, call a helpline such as the
Samaritans (
08457 90 90 90,
open 24 hours a day). And if your fears aren't going away, ask your GP
for help. GPs can refer people for counselling, psychotherapy or online
help through an online service called FearFighter.
9. Go back to basics
A good sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures
for anxiety. The easiest way to fall asleep when worries are spiralling
through the mind can be to stop trying to nod off. Instead, try to stay
awake.
Many people turn to alcohol or drugs to self-treat anxiety with the
idea that it will make them feel better, but these only make nervousness
worse. On the other hand, eating well will make you feel great
physically and mentally.
10. Reward yourself
Finally, give yourself a treat. When you've picked up that spider or
made that call you've been dreading, reinforce your success by treating
yourself to a candlelit bath, a massage, a country walk, a concert, a
meal out, a book, a DVD, or whatever little gift makes you happy.
Source: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/overcoming-fears.aspx