Depression Kills

Last month, I was sitting on my sofa with my laptop when I saw the headline “Robin Williams Found Dead.” I was shocked and deeply saddened by the news and the loss. It seemed like such a conundrum as to why someone with his persona would commit suicide. As more information was revealed about his addictions, his Parkinson’s disease diagnosis, and his dealing with severe depression, I totally understood how this unfortunate incident could occur.
Of course, the naysayers had to emerge and utter incoherent ramblings about cowardice and his leftist views that made him unhappy. All of the unintelligent garbage that gets reported needs to be tossed away promptly. Suicide is not an act of cowardice, but a result of depression or other mental illnesses. Robin Williams’s death is a tragedy, but if it can help start a national conversation about depression and mental illness then something positive can come from an untimely death.

It seems that many people view mental illness through a stereotype of straitjackets and padded cells. Mental illness encompasses many forms and can be as blatant as someone with agitated, incoherent behavior. It also can have very subtle signs, which makes a person appear to have nothing wrong with them. I understand the symptoms and the impact, because I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. It is a hard condition to understand because it affects emotions. This makes it difficult for those unfamiliar with the disease to comprehend as a real illness.
Believe me, it is just as real as diabetes, cancer, hypertension or any other disease that hides beneath the surface. It requires treatment just the same as diabetics require medication to keep their condition stable.
Depression is as old as recorded history. Years ago people thought of it as melancholia. The prevailing notion would be “he just needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps.” It was an uneducated thought that if you were sad, you would just get glad again. It was a self-inflicted pity party. The more the condition was studied and as medical advances were made, clinicians realized that there are many factors and conditions involved with the illness. Depression has many causes and can stem from genetic predisposition, life events, faulty mood regulation by the brain, and medical problems.
Whatever the specific cause for depression, there are always chemicals in the brain involved. There are many drugs available for treatment, but each person can react differently due to internal chemical reactions to the medications. The complexity of the illness is daunting for practitioners. They can’t simply review similar symptoms and think that the treatment will be the same for each patient.
I have taken many of the medications prescribed for depression and anxiety. It can be simply a trial and error procedure to find the right drug. It appears that anxiety and depression go hand in hand in most cases. A doctor once told me that most sufferers are what he refers to as “anxiously depressed.” It can be hard to separate one from the other when the disease takes hold. Most people can have a day where they feel down, and there is nothing wrong with being sad. Grief can certainly bring emotions to an all-time low, but most people recover, and don’t get stuck in a spiral that can become all-consuming. The inability to control those feelings of helplessness and despair are what individuals with depression experience.
For people to think that suicide is a coward’s way out is like thinking that someone who succumbed to cancer didn’t fight hard enough. Both outcomes are the result of a disease. Suicide and thinking of death are serious symptoms of depression. Talking about suicide is a cry for help – don’t ignore it. Be aware of the signs of depression so that you can help yourself or a friend.

Common symptoms of depression and suicide are:

• Loss of interest in daily activities
• Isolation
• Sadness
• Irritability to almost everyone and everything
• Sleep changes (insomnia or oversleeping)
• Self-loathing
• Apathy, hopelessness
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Talk of death or dying
• Calling or visiting people to say goodbye
• Acting recklessly as if having a death wish
• Expressing strong feelings of being trapped or feeling hopeless

Only through a dialog and a clear understanding of the disease can we help those who deal every day with depression. Compassion, not complacency, is the key in helping sufferers fight to remain in control. Medical professionals should be contacted for therapy and treatment just the way a cancer patient receives chemotherapy and radiation.
I want individuals who just don’t get it, or can’t understand how suicide can seem to be the only way out, to hear firsthand what the disease is like. I want them to know from someone who suffers from depression how it can feel to live inside the illness.
My depression is definitely genetic. I think in some form I have always suffered from its effects. It is an ominous shadow that follows me. Sometimes it kicks at my heels and I feel it peripherally, and other times it wraps its arms around me and pulls me down into darkness. For lack of a better term, I can call it “my dark passenger,” a term used in the Showtime series Dexter.
It is a feeling of complete hopelessness where there is no escape. The voice in my head is my enemy, and there is a nonstop monologue of negativity. It destroys self-esteem and hints at a future of gloom and despair. It speaks irrationally, but the nonstop propaganda becomes my reality. It is a hateful form that steps inside my body and takes over. The evil puppet master wants to force you into that dark cave where you huddle under blankets and want the world to go away. It wants me to grab for that extra cocktail to ease the pain. It wants me to take that additional Xanax to numb the constant mental knife stabs. It wants me to eat that extra cookie as comfort food, and then berates me for gaining an extra pound. It wants to consume me.
The twenty-four hour a day internal monologue is tiring, and sometimes I just want to shut my brain off. So you see, I can understand the depths to which a person suffering from depression can reach. A few months ago, I found myself parked in my garage, my car running and the garage door closed. My iPod was playing my favorite tunes. I suddenly felt like this could be the time to just lie back and let the carbon monoxide lull me to sleep. I would be stopping the nasty demon inside, the grief from the loss of my mother, and the feeling of being a burden to those who were trying to support me. What a perfect way to escape my dark passenger. Throw him out of the car.
The music soothed me and a sense of calm would stop his voice. I relaxed for about fifteen minutes waiting to feel sleepy. “Shouldn’t I feel something by now?” The voice in my head was growing impatient. “Maybe you should have planned this better. You should have done research to see how long carbon monoxide takes to have an effect. You’re stupid!”
In that moment, I realized it was the evil voice urging me to end my life. My ongoing psychological counseling, medication, and learning about cognitive-behavioral therapy gave me a moment of clarity. I shut off my car. I knew it was the irrational stranger inside trying to push me off the ledge. It was a power struggle and I had won the round.
I realize there will always be a fight against the ravages of depression. I consistently work to arm myself against the unwelcome voice that distorts the truth. With practice, I can develop a stronger rational voice that sheds light on the dark one. It is like flinging open a window on a vampire and watching him smolder. It can be diminished. Communication and support help me realize that depression doesn’t mean the end of the road.
It continues to be a journey. I need to find different paths where I can bury the darkness. For me, I have great professionals helping and strong support from family. I have learned to communicate my feelings and not keep them inside, as my nasty inner voice has always advised me. I am working on managing stress and reinventing myself. I am finding my life’s calling. My treadmill had been dusted off, and I am working on that endorphin rush. I am trying to make myself resilient and build a stronger armor.
People who are dealing with depression need to ask for help. They can’t go it alone. There is nothing wrong with admitting to being overwhelmed. Finding a strong support system is very important. Open up and confide in someone and contact mental health professionals. Therapy and medication can help one cope with symptoms.
Recovery from depression can be affected by the choices that are made. They don’t have to be difficult, but they can have a significant impact:

• Regular exercise and sleep
• Developing a schedule and routine to keep you on track
• Stress management
• Journaling – put your thoughts on paper and out of your head
• Relaxation techniques – yoga, meditation
• Diet changes – healthy eating
• Reading for relaxation or education about the disease

If I can help someone with depression find comfort in knowing that there is help, or educate those who are trying to understand the disease, then I am stronger for the effort. I will not carry a stigma or be afraid to speak of the illness. To remain silent feeds the negativity and increases the isolation. I want people to know that while suicide ends a life, it is depression that kills.

 By Vince G. Sparks
 https://psychcentral.com/lib/depression-kills-2/

How I Recovered From Depression And Why I Think You Can Too

MY DEPRESSION
I’ve been a blogger for 2 years but this particular article was really painful to write because I’m far too familiar with the topic.
No, this title is not a mistake and not a lie. I took me 2 weeks to beat depression after suffering for 6 months and today I’m trying to explain how I did it. Although I can’t promise it will work as quickly with you, I will tell you exactly how I did it and why I think it did work. Then you can try it for yourself.
In the beginning of 2015 I quit my well paid job to pursue my dream of being my own boss and owning my own brand. I had only 6 months worth of savings but I knew I will make things work. My enthusiasm was unparalleled, I worked and worked, didn’t exercise, didn’t socialize, didn’t sleep enough. I was literally all-in on this because I didn’t want to go back to being a corporate slave.
But betting all your cards on one lucky number is dangerous. One day in the end of June 2015 I got one rejection too many and everything fell apart. I remember I suddenly lost all hope and desire to try any more. This had never happened before. I didn’t want to read, to meet friends, to eat, to watch movies, to play guitar, to draw, to blog. Everything I adored started losing its meaning. It took me a month to realize I was suffering from a major depression. Then came:

• Complete insomnia (for months)
• Severe stomach problems (I could only eat bananas and biscuits and I gradually lost 16 pounds)
• Crippling indecision (took me hours to decide what to wear and whether to pick up the phone)
• IQ meltdown (I lost my job, could hardly form sentences and started forgetting words)
• Devastating regret (what I haven’t done and haven’t tried as I was sure my life was over and I would never do or try those things)
• Absolute numbness (I watched my family cry for me and I couldn’t feel anything)
• Panic (I incessantly tried to read and think myself out of depression and it made it worse and worse)

I was hopeless. It was so hard, that my mind kept telling me the world would be a better place without me. I’ve never said this before to anyone but I was suicidal for 5 months. The only thing that stopped me take my own life was fear and the aforementioned indecision. Which I hated myself for. I could never in a lifetime explain the suffering I was going through.
But believe it or not, I’m still here. And this article IS a happy-end story. Because one day I tried something new and for the first time in 5 months I felt something changing in my brain. I felt hope and calmness.
For 5 months I had read every article and tried several pills, every meditation technique, exercise and therapy I found and nothing ever helped. Until I watched a short video on the web where a depression victim shared how he had survived a paralyzing depression. He said he tricked his own brain into believing he was OK using a visualization technique. Which sounded like nonsense but he elaborated on what he did and how his subconscious reacted so I gave it a try that same evening. Lucky for me, I felt something clicking, so I kept doing it.
In a week I could sleep again. In another week I could eat and exercise. Only a month after I started that visualization technique (we’ll get to it shortly), I could work and found a new job. And as I’m prone to depression and introversion and feared it might come back, I decided that I will dissect HOW on Earth I recovered and WHY.


MY COMEBACK
Every single doctor I went to told me I would need 6-12 months to start eating, sleeping and working again. That is IF I started recovering today but I had only been getting worse over the last 5 months.
But here I was, a week after starting the visualizations, starting to get my sleep back. Then working out and eating normally in another week. Then getting a new job and feeling better than I’ve ever felt.
That same night I tried the visualization technique, I FELT BETTER after just 15 min.  of practice. I hadn’t felt better for months. The visualization itself is so simple that most people I’ve told it to haven’t try it (don’t be that guy): You visualize that you’re feeling better and you get better. The only tricky thing was:

1. Understanding WHY it works, which gives you the reason behind it and faith it could help you too (otherwise it will never have an affect)
2. Learning HOW to do it right (otherwise you’ll give up before it starts working)

WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS VISUALIZATION TECHNIQUE
The human brain is both amazingly powerful and amazingly simple. Long story short, it has two frequencies of work: conscious and subconscious. Out of 150 000 years of evolution, only the last 4000 – 12000 have been governed by the conscious mind. It’s easy to imagine most of our brain capacity and potential is still hidden in our subconscious. And it is. It rules all of our emotions, thoughts, feelings, enzyme and hormone secretion, etc.
Depression (as OCD, anxiety attacks, etc.) is a reaction of the subconscious brain to excessive stress. I can’t bold that enough: You’re depressed because your subconscious has undergone or is undergoing too much stress.
There you go: To recover, you only need to unwind and relax it. Which is both awfully hard and very simple.
But first – Why. Why does stress cause our brains to malfunction? Because 150 000 years of evolution have trained us that stress = danger. Stress strengthens concentration, reactions and pattern-recognition to escape danger. So it’s in fact a good thing, in small doses. But today we’re constantly overworked, underslept and unhappy, which make stress far greater than ever. It accumulates in our brain until it puts it out of order. Because to feel constantly stressed means you feel in constant danger. Your brain logically shuts off non-vital functions like metabolism, sleep, emotions, serotonin and dopamine production (happiness hormones). You don’t need to be happy when a bear is chasing you and you’re running for your life.
It sounds silly, but it’s true. The subconscious takes everything literally. It doesn’t make a difference between real danger and too much stress over a too long period.
Don’t hate it for doing what it does. In fact, now that you know that, you can turn things around, just like I did.


HOW IT WORKS
Like I said, your subconscious takes everything literally. It has no eyes. It cannot make a difference between real danger and feeling in danger. But here’s the key: It makes no difference between what’s real and what’s vividly imagined. This is equally true for positive emotions. If you can picture (or remember) being on the Eiffel Tower in Paris down to the last detail, your brain believes it 100%.
Let’s summarize: If you can really make your subconscious feel you’re getting better, you’ll start getting better. Probably fast.
Now we’re left with How. And here it gets better. And even more logical:
Your subconscious is the far faster and more powerful part of your brain. So powerful that it can heal you if only you choose to listen and speak its own language. But it doesn’t speak English. It speaks through our intuition (emotions, pictures). And it doesn’t understand English. Again, it understands emotions and vivid images.
If you intentionally project a different reality to it though visualizing things differently, it quickly starts believing you and seeking proof for those new beliefs.
Here’s how to make the visualizations:
1. Visualize your life with no sign of depression. Down to the last detail – what kinds of things you do, with whom you do them, how you look, where you hang out, how you feel, how you’re dressed, what new thoughts you think, how much energy you have.
2. Engage all your 5 senses. Imagine what the air feels like on your skin, what your favorite person smells like, what that delicious desert you’re eating tastes like, what that great song you’re listening to sounds like. Remember – you need to persuade yourself this is reality, if only for a while.
3. Do it in the present tense. Ignore this only being in your head and visualize all this happening now, in front of you, feeling awesome. It feels stupid at first, but I’m telling you – if this made me believe I could sleep and eat again, it can make YOU recover too.
4. Be patient. At first you might not do it well, so it might not work right away. But learning how to control your brain will change your life forever. Give it some time and patience. In my case 2 weeks were enough to get me back on my feet, feeling better than ever (not joking – Better. Than. Ever.) In your case it might be a little more, but it’s worth every second invested in it.
5. Feel free to dream. There are no boundaries here. Visualize your life normal again, filled with positive people, adventures, great friends and lots of love. Anything that makes your subconscious feel better, so it starts releasing the happiness hormones again.
6. Write it down! Writing makes visualizations slower, which in its own turn makes them more mindful. The first time I felt the change happening in my brain, I wrote it down. For the first week, I wrote it down every day, then I started updating it once a week and kept that habit for months.
7. Do it twice a day. Trying to trick your brain is tricky itself. First, it needs repetition and devotion. Don’t skip and if you accidentally do, NEVER skip twice (until you’ve recovered). Also, do it when you wake up and before you go to bed.That’s when you’re sleepy because your logic’s resistance is weaker then and your subconscious is more open to “inception”.
8. If you can’t visualize, try this: Pick a small object at home, hold it in your hand and study it from all sides for a minute. Then close your eyes and try to visualize every detail of it. Repeast 2-3 times every day, change objects if you want. This will make you better at visualizing.
DON’T DO IT ALONE !!!
This is so important that I’ve put it separately.
You need help and support. Depression is an awful enemy. Find a depression partner or a mentor to walk with you, step-by-step until you can “walk” by yourself. Someone who understands what you’re going through (any experience with depression is a great benefit) and will have your back no matter what. Try doing the visualizations together.
If you don’t have such a person, DROP ME AN EMAIL at j@milanoff.com. I can’t talk to everyone personally, but I will send you the link to my 40-page GUIDEBOOK that will walk you step-by-step through my whole routine while recovering – my visualizations, my self-talk, the physical and mental exercises I did, plus a few crucial habits I developed to make my recovery faster.
I don’t collect emails, I just seriously favor this method of helping people rather than just providing a link. The Guidebook needs some explanation, plus this way I can also send each person a few pieces of advice based on their specific situation.
Each chapter in the Guidebook focuses on a simple habit that helps you take control over your mind chemically and psychologically. Visualizations are one of them, as well as stress reduction, keeping yourself busy, proper exercise and regaining self-esteem. I try to explain how and why I believe those habits work universally and give you my step-by-step program for applying them.


Note: The Guidebook is paid but only $9.90 and only to cover for those hours I take away from my paying job every day to reply to tens of emails from people fighting with depression, just like you. Those funds are what’s helping me help others. That’s less than what your breakfast usually costs for something that may turn your life around.
If you can’t afford it, I will send you the link for free! BUT please be honest, your support is crucial for my work – I know you wouldn’t take advantage of my help.
To everyone that supports my efforts, I also send a gift – my copy of one of the best books ever published on finding internal peace and changing your self-talk to positive. It’s mind-shifting.
So that’s it. That’s my story. I know it seems a bit too spiritual, that’s why I’ve put all the reason behind those “mystical” effects of visualizing. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN. You’re on your way to recovery. It’s not easy but it’s simple!
I hope you’ve decided to try the visualizations above (please do!) – they were the most crucial part of my recovering. But if you want to dig deeper into my recovery methods, JUST SEND ME AN EMAIL at j@milanoff.com with the subject “Guidebook” and I’ll send you the order link.
If you don’t believe me (a few people even called sharing the darkest moments of my life a scam, which awfully hurt me), PLEASE give the visualizations a try for a week. You will feel the difference. Don’t blow your chances on recovery because you’re skeptic.

Source: http://milanoff.com/en/recovering-1/

MALARIA DRUG ROW Irish Defence Forces blasted for continuing to give troops ‘dated’ Lariam pills that leave some soldiers with suicidal thoughts

THE State has been blasted for continuing to splash taxpayer cash on a “dated” anti-malarial drug for Irish troops that’s leaving some soldiers suffering depression and suicidal thoughts.

The controversial drug Lariam is no longer available in Irish pharmacies and has been discontinued for use by militaries in the US, the UK, Australia and Germany.

Around 50 former soldiers have taken legal action against the State for damages due to the effects Lariam

However, the Irish Sun can reveal the Defence Forces here gave out 1,078 of these troublesome tablets to our soldiers last year — 147 tablets more than in 2015.
In the past five years, the Government has spent €13,440 on the anti-malarial drug for Irish troops heading to Mali and Congo.
Lariam is a brand name for the drug Mefloquine, whose side effects include muscle aches, memory problems, mood changes, insomnia, ­anxiety, depression, paranoia, hallucinations and suicidal thoughts or attempts.
Irish troops take one tablet a week for two weeks before their trip, then take one a week while in a malaria zone and should continue to take it for four weeks after leaving the country, according to website Drugs.com.

Lariam is no longer used as first preference in the U.S, UK or Australia

Malarone is a safer alternative and is available for €2.27 per tablet, compared with Lariam’s €2.38.
However, Malarone must be taken once a day, starting two days before a trip and continuing throughout the stay in the malaria zone and for a week after troops come home.
A dose of Lariam for a two-week trip to a malarial zone for one soldier would cost the State €11.90 compared with the safer option of Malarone, which would cost €52.21 per soldier.
Dr Remington Nevin, a former US Army major and leading expert on Mefloquine, has urged the Irish government to stop their “stubborn” policy of using the drug as a first preference option.
Speaking to the Irish Sun, he said: “Militaries across the world have all but eliminated the use of Lariam.
“For Ireland to continue its policy of first line use of Lariam particularly when Roche, the company who make the drug, has withdrawn the drug from the country, strikes me as extremely odd.”

We’re talking paranoia, depression, mood swings, and suicidal ideation
Former soldier Anthony Moore

The Irish Pharmacy Union yesterday told the Irish Sun that Lariam was no longer available in pharmacies here for commercial reasons.
Around 50 former soldiers have taken legal action against the State for damages due to the effects the drug had on their life.
Anthony Moore, a former corporal in the Irish Army, took the drug on two occasions and says the side effects damaged his life so much he set up an Action Against Lariam group to help others hurt by it.
Speaking to the Irish Sun, Anthony said: “The side effects can come on there and then or it can come on gradually, which is what happened to me. We’re talking paranoia, depression, mood swings, and suicidal ideation. I have come across soldiers that have never even got onto the plane because they got it that quick and they got the mental side effects.”

Former soldier Anthony Moore started the Lariam Action Group to help others effected by the drug

He added: “This has affected my life in a big way. It turned my ­family upside down because we had to cope. They didn’t know what was going on and they just saw a ­different person.”
Anthony was 25 years in the Irish Army and took Lariam twice while on trips to Liberia and Chad. He feels the State is springing for the drug because it is the cheapest option available.
He said: “There are three anti-malarials in Malarone, Doxycycline and Lariam and there is a massive difference in price. Lariam is the cheapest and without a doubt the State are still giving it to the Defence Forces because of that.”
He added the reaction from other soldiers to the Lariam Action Group has been fantastic.
He said: “They were absolutely thrilled because they didn’t know who to turn to and they didn’t know what was wrong with them.
“With it all being out in the open now it is helping families. I’ve had many a family come to me and thank me for starting the group because they did not know what was wrong with their loved ones.”

Fianna Fail: Evidence shows Lariam is no longer fit for purpose

FIANNA Fail has called on the Government to change its policy on the controversial drug and only prescribe it as a last resort. The party’s defence spokesperson Lisa Chambers told the Irish Sun: “When we first started using Lariam it probably was the best drug at the time, but time has moved on as have other armies. “There is a lot of evidence out there to suggest the drug is no longer fit for purpose and should be a drug of last resort. “You and I can no longer go to our GP and be prescribed Lariam so why should it be given to our Defence Forces?”

But Defence Minister Paul Kehoe defended the State’s use of Lariam and said the drug was the first choice prescription for troops that travelled to sub-Saharan Africa.
He said: “The choice of medication for overseas deployment for both officers and enlisted personnel, including the use of Lariam, is a medical decision made by medical officers in the Defence Forces, ­having regard to the specific circumstances of the mission and the ­individual member of the Defence Forces.
“The Defence Forces Director of the Medical Branch’s current advice, guidance and policy in relation to malaria chemoprophylaxis is that in the case of sub-Saharan Africa, ­Lariam is the agent of first choice.

Sinn Fein: We've been raising Lariam issue since 2010

Sinn Fein said Ireland is behind the times by still prescribing Lariam. Defence spokesperson Aengus O Snodaigh told the Irish Sun: “This has been banned by a number of armies including the English and the Germans just last week. I’ve been raising this since 2010 in the Dail and there has been no explanation other than this is what the medical people say.”

“There are no plans to withdraw Lariam from the range of anti- malarial medications available to the Defence Forces.”
The Defence Forces state that they do not use Doxycycline as first choice because it has to be taken in the absence of dairy products for full efficacy and can have some gastrointestinal side effects.
Minister Kehoe also stated that Malarone is not the first choice for our soldiers because the drug previously was only recommended for use for 28 days in a row and the troops go out for six months.

Irish Tropical Medical Bureau - Lariam is a brilliant drug

The Irish Tropical Medical Bureau has backed the use of Lariam but says the drug does not agree with everyone and medical history should be consulted. Speaking to the Irish Sun, Dr Graham Fry said: “When you give your child a peanut for the first time you are guessing you’re not going to kill the child with a peanut allergy. “It’s the exact same with many drugs like Lariam because we don’t know how people are going to react to it.” He added: “The Army can use Lariam but not for every single person. “Would I give it blindly to three or four hundred people without checking their past medical history? No, I wouldn’t, but it is still a good drug.”

Source:  https://www.thesun.ie/news/310447/irish-defence-forces-blasted-for-continuing-to-give-troops-dated-lariam-pills-that-leave-some-soldiers-with-suicidal-thoughts/