From trainspotting to knitting: 5 hobbies that can be used as mindfulness techniques

Mindfulness is the latest wellness trend that shows no signs of stopping, and it seems that everyone is talking about the stress-busting meditation technique.
Though there are plenty of books and apps out there to explain how to pay more attention to the present moment, you might be surprised to know that hotel chain Premier Inn has discovered that some classic hobbies like trainspotting can actually be used to help achieve mindfulness.
Dr Saima Latif, an expert in mindfulness, gives us a list of classic hobbies that have surprising mental health benefits:

1. Trainspotting

Trainspotters can find the process of noting down each train’s number or ticking it off in a data book particularly therapeutic and satisfying.
It can help to focus your mind, which in turn relieves stress.
Trainspotting can also offer the opportunity to go off the grid with no phone or internet connection, as all you really need is a pen and paper, not to mention the benefits of being in the great outdoors.
Try it for yourself as the Flying Scotsman gets back on the rails from May.

2. Pottery

Making something special out of clay can leave you with a feeling of accomplishment.
Pottery can have a great calming effect as the concentration required to produce your own small masterpiece helps centre your mind.
Don’t worry if you’re not the artsy type, give it a go and watch your stresses drift away.

3. Birdwatching

Engaging with nature is free and despite what you may think, you don’t need expensive equipment to take up birdwatching.
Take a few minutes to watch their movements and interactions closely from your garden or local park and notice how quickly your mind begins to focus on the present.

4. Lego

Playing with Lego as children allowed us to become completely absorbed in the worlds we created.
Children don’t worry about the past or the future when they play. Adults can copy this too.
Building your own Lego universe keeps your imagination at the forefront and helps you forget everything around you while still having fun.

5. Knitting

The rhythmic nature of knitting is repetitive, therapeutic, and comforting.
Following a simple pattern can be used almost in a meditative manner to have a positive impact on the mind and well-being.

Source:  http://home.bt.com/lifestyle/wellbeing/from-trainspotting-to-knitting-5-hobbies-that-can-be-used-as-mindfulness-techniques-11364052745527

How to deal with stress through mindfulness.

Modern life is stressful. From frantic careers to financial worries, caring for children to making time for your spouse, sometimes it can all seem like too much, even for the calmest of us.

It’s little wonder, then, that we’re more highly-strung than ever before. Recent research found that one in five women confesses to feeling anxious most or all of the time. And some 53 million prescriptions for anti-depressants were issued in the last year alone. So can the only way to truly conquer stress be through a bottle of pills?

Thankfully not. Starting today, the Mail introduces an unmissable series which will teach you easy tricks to beat anxiety in every area of your life, and show how you can easily master the new stress-busting technique everyone is talking about: mindfulness.

Today, we tackle one of the key sources of stress in all our lives — marriage and relationships . . .

WHAT IS MINDFULNESS?
Stressed-out MPs and City bankers have embraced it. Hollywood stars swear by it. Big corporations such as Google and Procter & Gamble teach it to their staff. Schools are developing ways to teach it to children. And it’s even recommended by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence — the health service watchdog — as a preferred NHS treatment for depression.
Medics say that practising mindfulness can considerably lower your stress levels, mean that you see your doctor less often and spend fewer days in hospital. Not only this, but devotees insist that your memory improves, and your creativity increases.

And best of all, mindfulness is easy to learn and can even be done on the go.

While it has its roots in Buddhist meditation, it certainly doesn’t involve sitting cross-legged or chanting ‘om’. It is, quite simply, the act of trying to be properly ‘aware’ of what you are doing at any given time.

So instead of chatting while texting, or reading emails while simultaneously planning what you’re going to cook for dinner, you can use mindfulness to help your brain to slow down and clear everything from your mind. 

With the help of mindfulness, you can give your full attention to what you are doing, and develop a sense of peace and contentment.

While it’s normal for the mind to wander, according to psychotherapist Padraig O’Morain, author of new book Mindfulness On The Go, our hectic brains can also cause unnecessary anguish.

‘When your mind wanders, you can fall into brooding about the past, which can lead to depression, or into recycling worries about the future, which can elevate anxiety,’ he says.

Practising mindfulness, even for a few seconds, gives your brain a little respite, a moment of focus, before it gets pulled away into the clutter of the real world.

The aim of practising mindfulness is to become more aware of your feelings without getting tangled up in them. Then, instead of being overwhelmed by your thoughts, you can manage them better.

Many mindfulness teachers encourage you to set aside ten or even 20 minutes each day for a proper mindfulness session to ground you. However, Padraig O’Morain is convinced we can all reap its many benefits by simply sprinkling short and simple exercises throughout our day. 

There’s no need to sit in a darkened room, or peel yourself away from a frantic schedule. Mindfulness can be performed in the middle of a conversation, during a meeting, while showering or brushing your teeth. And best of all, no one needs to know.

HOW DO YOU DO IT?
The way to start is to use a simple breathing technique to focus your attention and clear your mind. Known as 7/11 breathing, it’s so easy you can do it anywhere — on the bus, walking to work, at your desk or even in bed.

All you have to do is count to seven as you breathe in, then count to 11 as you breathe out. Making each ‘out’ breath last longer than the ‘in’ breath is a natural way of making the body relax, and the simple act of counting will take your mind away from all its other distractions.

As you breathe and count, your buzzing brain will be forced to slow down. It will momentarily stop pinging forwards into the future, or back into the past, running through pointless regrets or never-ending to-do lists.

This gives your brain the space it so sorely needs to relax, which will help you to function more effectively in the rest of your life.

At first, it may not be easy to last to the full count of 11 on the ‘out’ breath — but you will improve over time. Don’t force things, or you’ll end up gasping for air. Just breathe steadily and easily at a pace that suits you. You can do this once or for five minutes consistently — however long it takes you.

HOW CAN IT HELP  MY MARRIAGE?
There is huge potential for stress in even the most idyllic relationship. Whether it’s one of you leaving the loo seat up or over-spending on a credit card, relationship stress can so easily build, triggering arguments and tension. But mindfulness can stop those tensions getting out of hand.
Before you raise a difficult issue with your spouse , or if you can sense a row is brewing, take time out to do your 7/11 breathing first.

According to Padraig O’Morain, practising mindfulness can give you the presence of mind to avoid rising to the bait or flying off the handle. And it can empower you with the strength and focus to be firm and clear about getting your needs across without being aggressive.

Scientific studies show mindfulness can strengthen our control over our emotions, making us less likely to be hijacked by our feelings and less reactive to emotional triggers. This means mindfulness can help you take a balanced view when you’re stressed — a definite plus in navigating a marital showdown.

THE MINDFUL PAUSE

This couldn’t be more simple. If a row catches you unawares, or a tricky conversation starts to spin out of control, just stop whatever you are doing or thinking for the split second it takes to inhale . . . and exhale. It’s rather like a micro-version of 7/11 breathing.

That tiny pause gives your brain the chance to think: ‘I need to say this’, or: ‘I had best not say that’. It gives you a second or two to see that you have more than one choice and to make the choice that is most likely to work. It gives you enough time to work out whether your partner really is criticising you or not, stopping you from reacting impulsively to what might be a non-existent attack.

MINDFUL COMMUNICATION
The foundation of successful communication for any couple is being able to truly listen to each other, without constructing a counter-argument in your head or indulging in ‘catastrophising’ — assuming the crisis is worse than it really is.

The essential mindful technique here is to ground yourself firmly in the present moment. Again, it’s very easy. Focus on one physical thing — be it the feeling of your feet on the floor, or your bottom on a chair. Breathe deeply. If they’re in the room, ask your partner to give you a moment to prepare in this way. 

Then, once you’re ready, try these simple tips:

• Switch off all distractions and look directly at your spouse’s face and eyes when they are speaking and lean forwards towards them slightly (the body language of the attentive listener).
•   Make a point of listening to the entire conversation. This sounds easy enough, but most of us are too busy formulating our reply before the other person has stopped speaking.
•  When they finish speaking, summarise and paraphrase what your spouse said so they know you are listening.

ACCEPT YOUR DIFFERENCES

Marriage researchers say most of the long-term differences between partners are never resolved. Fighting over familiar issues can be a complete waste of time.

Your spouse may say something to you which is simply not worth the effort of arguing with. Now and then, you need to be able to shrug off their negative opinion of you, like a dog shaking off water. 

MOVE ON

If something hurtful happens (one of you criticises the other at a party or you have a blazing row) it is very tempting to repeat the scenario to yourself in your head, over and over again. But doing this will always amplify the distress and keep any feelings of resentment alive. Instead, acknowledge the hurt, and become aware of your feelings without getting caught up in them.

Think: ‘Yes, it is painful.’ Then you MUST move on. Whenever the memory flashes in to your mind think: ‘Oh yes, there it is. Noted.’ Briefly feel the hurt, then move on. 

Think about your breathing or your posture, anything to distract yourself. You may still harbour resentment, but the important thing is to get to a point where you don’t obsess about it.

TACKLE YOUR FLASH POINTS

FLASH POINT: One partner putting more effort into the relationship, home or family than the other.

TIP: Many men see their role as bringing home the bacon and their wife’s role as being everything else, even if she also has a full-time job. But division of labour should be an agreement based on what’s most important to each partner. 

Psychologist Professor Jane Ogden recommends ‘teddy talk’ to discuss your roles. This counselling exercise requires you to sit opposite each other with a teddy. The person holding the teddy is allowed to speak without interruption. Vitally, they can only use the word ‘I’, not ‘you’, which is too accusatory. The word ‘never’ is also forbidden, as is the phrase ‘you always’. 

This act of re-phrasing forces you to think about what you are saying and the way you are delivering it.

FLASH POINT: Your relationship feels dull.

TIP: ‘Mid-life malaise’ can be a real source of stress for many couples. Susanna Abse, a psychoanalytical therapist, and chief executive of the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships, stresses the importance of recognising the limitations of a long-term relationship if you really want it to last.

‘You may have to face giving up the longings you might have had for a different kind of partner, or a different kind of life,’ she says, ‘Although you might mourn that loss, it is important to focus instead on what you have now.’ She suggests sitting down to write a list of the positives about your partner and share the lists with each other. You might just be pleasantly surprised.

FLASH POINT: They’re not making an effort to look attractive for you.

TIP: This can happen as a relationship progresses, and before you know it, you only see them in the morning when they’re wearing their pyjamas or the evening when they’ve changed into comfy clothes after work. It can seem only other people see them looking at their best.

This may be a sign that things in the relationship are stagnating and can be a major cause of stress according to Neil Shah, Director of the Stress Management Society. Try introducing a weekly ‘date-night’ with certain rules — such as getting your hair done, being clean-shaven and surprising your partner by presenting yourself differently.

FLASH POINT: One of you is a lark, the other’s an owl.

TIP: Whether you keep different body clocks or keep each other awake with snoring or excessive fidgeting, relationship counsellor Francine Kaye recommends considering separate beds. ‘Unzip your divan beds — just a few centimetres of separation can improve sleep and ease stress considerably,’ she says. 

If your bed doesn’t split, she suggests scheduling two nights a week when you sleep in separate rooms. ‘It’s not the slippery slope of relationship decline that many people fear,’ she says. 

‘It can be quite the contrary. A couple of nights good sleep can refresh and reinvigorate even the most stagnant relationship. And if it does make you feel guilty try scheduling extra sex to compensate.’

TIPS TO HELP YOUR HUSBAND STRESS LESS

Relationship problems can cause a man to become stressed, frustrated or even aggressive. According to The Stress Management Society, a natural male tendency is to withdraw. This destroys any chance of true intimacy. So:

• If you spot the glazed look of a man so stressed he can no longer focus mentally, give him time to retreat into his ‘man cave’ — a physical space that’s just his — so he can process the issues without nagging.
• Don’t speak to him in ‘bloke’ language (for example, ‘Why the hell are you acting like this?’) if you want a warm, nurturing response. Most men are programmed to try to make you happy and just want to please you. Instead, try warm, feminine language (‘It makes me unhappy when you do this, I’m so much happier when you do that’).
•   If you need something from him, tell him exactly what you need. Don’t expect him to read your mind. If necessary give him a list. 
• Accept that men will deal with stress and solve problems differently to you, even if you don’t like or understand their ways.

TIPS TO HELP YOUR  WIFE STRESS LESS
Women may seem complex, yet they are often just looking for their core needs — to feel secure and cherished — to be met. So:

• Be fearless and ensure you are seen as the one in control of a situation.
• Never be afraid to ask: ‘Is there anything I need to do for you?’
• Be succinct and confident when you talk, and use a deep voice. 
• If you think she might be upset or worried, ask her how she is feeling. Avoid making assumptions about what’s causing her problem — assuming you know what she’s feeling is a sure way to rile most women —and listen carefully to her answer.

DESTRESS YOUR  SEX LIFE
One of the most obvious causes of stress in a relationship is a failing sex life. But surprisingly, says sex and relationships expert Tracey Cox, it can actually be a sign that the foundations are good.

She says:  ‘Very often, the better your relationship, the worse your sex life because after many years, a really strong bond can become rather sibling-like.’ 

The secret to shaking things up, she says, is to push yourselves out of your comfort zone — ‘be a bit naughty!’ — and have the courage to face up to potential sexual flash points.

FLASH POINT: Your lover’s sex drive is significantly higher/lower than your own.

TIP: According to Nick Achilleos, the director at The Stress Management Society, a mismatched sex drive can be a clear indication that your relationship could be generally out of balance. The solution doesn’t necessarily lie in finding some kind of sexual harmony. 

‘You’d be better off trying first to connect with each other in different ways beyond the physical act of sex,’ says Nick. It could be giving each other massages — or even just spend time cuddling and kissing.

FLASH POINT: You/your partner suffers from erectile dysfunction. 

TIP: As we get more stressed, our body starts to cut non-essential bodily function (including sexual function). Oxygenated blood is diverted to the major muscle groups and not to the sexual organs which can lead to erectile dysfunction. 

So instead of putting in a bulk order for Viagra, concentrate on taking time out to relax. This can be a better boost to bedroom behaviour than any form of medication.

Source:  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2637949/How-beat-STRESS-Its-modern-epidemic-wrecks-lives-relationships-This-major-series-shows-conquer-stress-using-mindfulness-new-calming-technique-EVERYONE-talking-about.html

Mindfulness treatment as effective as CBT for depression, anxiety

Group mindfulness treatment is as effective as individual cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in patients with depression and anxiety, according to a new study from Lund University in Sweden and Region Skåne. This is the first randomized study to compare group mindfulness treatment and individual cognitive behavioral therapy in patients with depression and anxiety in primary health care.

The researchers, led by Professor Jan Sundquist, ran the study at 16 primary health care centres in Skåne, a county in southern Sweden. They trained two mindfulness instructors, from different occupational groups, at each primary health care centre during a 6-day training course.
In spring 2012, patients with depression, anxiety or reactions to severe stress were randomized to either structured group mindfulness treatment with approximately 10 patients per group, or regular treatment (mainly individual CBT). Patients also received a private training programme and were asked to record their exercises in a diary. The treatment lasted 8 weeks. General practitioner and mindfulness instructor Ola Schenström designed the mindfulness training programme and model for training instructors.
A total of 215 patients were included in the study. Before and after treatment, the patients in the mindfulness and regular treatment groups answered questionnaires that estimated the severity of their depression and anxiety. Self-reported symptoms of depression and anxiety decreased in both groups during the 8-week treatment period. There was no statistical difference between the two treatments.
"The study's results indicate that group mindfulness treatment, conducted by certified instructors in primary health care, is as effective a treatment method as individual CBT for treating depression and anxiety," says Jan Sundquist. "This means that group mindfulness treatment should be considered as an alternative to individual psychotherapy, especially at primary health care centres that can't offer everyone individual therapy."
Source: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/11/141127112755.htm

Mindfulness + Cognitive Therapy = Less Prenatal Depression Risk

Mindfulness techniques combined with cognitive therapy have been shown to reduce the risk of depression relapse among pregnant women.
Mindfulness approaches include meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga while cognitive therapy challenges and alters maladaptive thoughts and feelings.
University of Colorado, Boulder researchers found pregnant women with histories of major depression were less likely to relapse into depression if they used the non-drug interventions.
About 30 percent of pregnant women who have struggled with depression in the past will again become depressed in the months before and after birth, according to past research.
In the new study, researchers found that participation in a Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy program reduced the relapse rate to 18 percent.
“It’s important for pregnant women who are at high risk of depression to have options for treatment and prevention,” said Dr. Sona Dimidjian, an associate professor in University of Colorado, Boulder’s Department of Psychology and Neuroscience and lead author of the study.
“For some women, antidepressant medication is truly a lifesaver, but for others, concerns about side effects and possible impacts to fetal development may cause them to prefer a non-pharmacological intervention.”
Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy, which combines mindfulness practice with more traditional cognitive therapy, has been shown to be effective at preventing recurrent episodes of depression in the general population.
But few studies of any kind have looked at the effect of non-drug therapies and interventions among pregnant women. A major reason for the research shortfall is the difficulty to recruit participants for a study within the relatively short time period of pregnancy.
For the current research, published in the journal Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 42 women in Colorado and Georgia with at least one prior episode of major depression took an eight-session class during their pregnancies. During class and in homework assignments, the women worked to develop mindfulness skills.
“Mindfulness is about how to pay attention to your own moment-to-moment experience in a way that is suffused with an openness, curiosity, gentleness, and kindness towards oneself,” Dimidjian said.
The standard mindfulness practices used in class were tweaked to be more valuable to pregnant women. Lessons included prenatal yoga, walking meditation exercises that could be done later while soothing a baby, and shorter practices that could be easily integrated into the busy lives of new moms.
The lessons also specifically addressed worry, which can be an overwhelming emotion during pregnancy, and put particular focus on love and kindness for oneself and one’s baby.
The research team surveyed the women for symptoms of depression during their pregnancy and through six months postpartum.
“A high percentage of the women who began the courses, 86 percent, completed the study, a sign that the women found the sessions valuable,” Dimidjian said.
The researchers also were struck by the number of pregnant women who expressed interest in participating in a mindfulness program, even though they didn’t meet the criteria to participate in this study.
“I was surprised by the level of interest, even among women who didn’t have a history of depression,” Dimidjian said. “Pregnant women know they are going to have this upcoming event that’s going to change their lives, and they want to be ready.”
Dimidjian has worked to create an online program of Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy that could be used as a tool to address the demand by pregnant women and others to develop these skills.
To test the effectiveness of the online program, Dimidjian is now recruiting adult women with a prior history of depression to participate in a new study. The women do not need to be pregnant.
Source: http://psychcentral.com/news/2014/11/20/mindfulness-cognitive-therapy-less-prenatal-depression-risk/77549.html

The Healing Power of Mindfulness

A little over a year ago I had an awakening.  I realized I had the power to calm and heal my mind, even if I couldn't control what was happening to my body.  I've talked about this before in different ways including  recognizing sources of healing around us, how mindfulness helped me heal, and mindfulness and mobile apps.  Mindfulness is a set of skills for healing, intuition, insight, calmness, focus, resilience and hope that you can develop to counter the stresses that chronic illness brings.  As Dr. Berkelhammer put it, you can literally "train your mind to promote healing".

Mindfulness is not a panacea.  It won't help you find a diagnosis.  It won't replace the prescriptions you are taking.  It won't get rid of those nagging chronic symptoms.  But it will help you cope better.  As you train your mind, you will find more light and peace in each day.  You will start to notice the little things around you that make life so wonderful.  You will begin to take charge of your own healing process.  You will become more patient and compassionate with yourself and kinder with others.  You will feel less and less like a victim and more like a strong and resilient survivor.  You will begin to live life with purpose and see new opportunities despite chronic illness.  In short, you will find happiness even in the face of suffering.

I was introduced to mindfulness through another chronically ill blogger and bestselling author Toni Bernhard.  Her book on How to Be Sick really transformed how I view my life with chronic illness and how I cope with it.  It was the first time I had read about how to actually cultivate the life skills embodied by mindfulness.  It's been a little over a year since I read her book and I'm still working on many aspects of mindfulness.  Toni draws on the Buddhist tradition, but mindfulness stands apart from spirituality.   Increasingly modern psychology has adopted many of the mindfulness skills and techniques and have scientifically proven their benefits.  She is an example to me and many others.  Visit her awesome blog Turning Straw Into Gold.  I promise you won't be the same person after applying the principles she offers.

There's a lot to learn.  I'm really just a beginner.  But I have experienced the healing power of mindfulness.    Living with Fibromyalgia still brings painful symptoms, but the the intense grip that pain has on me has lessened.   I often find myself repeating the mantra "Hold On, Pain Ends" that reminds me tomorrow is a new day and that somehow makes the present more manageable.  I expect mindfulness will be for me a lifelong pursuit.  It isn't something you can learn in a day, but you can make noticeable changes in your life by adopting some simple practices into your daily routine. 
Source: http://blog.healingwell.com/2013/05/the-healing-power-of-mindfulness.html

How to Stop Worrying

Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety Relief

Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to take action and solve a problem. But if you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. Unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing. They can sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your daily life. But chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.

Why is it so hard to stop worrying?

Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps you up at night and makes you tense and edgy during the day. You hate feeling like a nervous wreck. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?
For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the beliefs—both negative and positive—they hold about worrying.
On the negative side, you may believe that your constant worrying is harmful, that it’s going to drive you crazy or affect your physical health. Or you may worry that you’re going to lose all control over your worrying—that it will take over and never stop.
On the positive side, you may believe that your worrying helps you avoid bad things, prevents problems, prepares you for the worst, or leads to solutions.
Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. But positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. It’s tough to break the worry habit if you believe that your worrying protects you. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up your belief that worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind.

Why you keep worrying

You have mixed feelings about your worries. On one hand, your worries are bothering you—you can't sleep, and you can't get these pessimistic thoughts out of your head. But there is a way that these worries make sense to you. For example, you think:

• Maybe I'll find a solution.
• I don't want to overlook anything.
• If I keep thinking a little longer, maybe I'll figure it out.
• I don't want to be surprised.
• I want to be responsible.

You have a hard time giving up on your worries because, in a sense, your worries have been working for you.
Source: The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You by Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #1: Create a worry period

It’s tough to be productive in your daily life when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts. But what can you do? If you’re like many chronic worriers, your anxious thoughts feel uncontrollable. You’ve tried lots of things, from distracting yourself, reasoning with your worries, and trying to think positive, but nothing seems to work.

Why trying to stop anxious thoughts doesn’t work

Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work—at least not for long. You can distract yourself or suppress anxious thoughts for a moment, but you can’t banish them for good. In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent.
You can test this out for yourself. Close your eyes and picture a pink elephant. Once you can see the pink elephant in your mind, stop thinking about it. Whatever you do, for the next five minutes, don’t think about pink elephants!
How did you do? Did thoughts of pink elephants keep popping in your brain?
“Thought stopping” backfires because it forces you to pay extra attention to the very thought you want to avoid. You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important.
But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to control your worry. You just need to try a different approach. This is where the strategy of postponing worrying comes in. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of an anxious thought, give yourself permission to have it, but put off thinking any more about it until later.

Learning to postpone worrying:

1. Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.
2. Postpone your worry. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.
3. Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.

Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. Yet there’s no struggle to suppress the thought or judge it. You simply save it for later. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll start to realize that you have more control over your worrying than you think.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #2: Ask yourself if the problem is solvable

Research shows that while you’re worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.
Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.

Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries

If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

• Is the problem something you’re currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?
• If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?
• Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?

Productive, solvable worries are those you can take action on right away. For example, if you’re worried about your bills, you could call your creditors to see about flexible payment options. Unproductive, unsolvable worries are those for which there is no corresponding action. “What if I get cancer someday?” or “What if my kid gets into an accident?”
If the worry is solvable, start brainstorming. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Try not to get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less worried.

Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry isn’t something you can solve? If you’re a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, it’s important to tune into your emotions.
As previously mentioned, worrying helps you avoid unpleasant emotions. Worrying keeps you in your head, thinking about how to solve problems rather than allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions. But you can’t worry your emotions away. While you’re worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, the tension and anxiety bounces back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings, “What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way!”

Learn how emotional savvy reduces worry

Watch 2:50 min. video: Developing emotional awareness

The only way out of this vicious cycle is by learning to embrace your feelings. This may seem scary at first because of negative beliefs you have about emotions. For example, you may believe that you should always be rational and in control, that your feelings should always make sense, or that you shouldn’t feel certain emotions, such as fear or anger.
The truth is that emotions—like life—are messy. They don’t always make sense and they’re not always pleasant. But as long as you can accept your feelings as part of being human, you’ll be able to experience them without becoming overwhelmed and learn how to use them to your advantage. The following tips will help you find a better balance between your intellect and your emotions.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #3: Accept uncertainty

The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.
Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Challenging intolerance of uncertainty: The key to anxiety relief

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

• Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?
• What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
• Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?
• Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?

Adapted from: Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #4: Challenge anxious thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.
Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.
Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worry by questioning the worried thought:

• What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
• Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
• What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
• If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
• Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
• What would I say to a friend who had this worry?

Cognitive Distortions that Add to Anxiety, Worry, and Stress
All-or-nothing thinking - Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground. “If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”
Overgeneralization - Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever. “I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”
The mental filter - Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.
Diminishing the positive - Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count. “I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”
Jumping to conclusions - Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader, “I can tell she secretly hates me.” Or a fortune teller, “I just know something terrible is going to happen.”
Catastrophizing - Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. “The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”
Emotional reasoning - Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. “I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”
'Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’ - Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules
Labeling - Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings. “I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”
Personalization - Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. “It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”

Worry and anxiety self-help tip # 5: Be aware of how others affect you

How you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious. We quickly “catch” moods from other people—even from strangers who never speak a word (e.g. the terrified woman sitting by you on the plane; the fuming man in the checkout line). The people you spend a lot of time with have an even greater impact on your mental state.

• Keep a worry diary. You may not be aware of how people or situations are affecting you. Maybe this is the way it’s always been in your family, or you’ve been dealing with the stress so long that it feels normal. You may want to keep a worry diary for a week or so. Every time you start to worry, jot down the thought and what triggered it. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns.
• Spend less time with people who make you anxious. Is there someone in your life who drags you down or always seems to leave you feeling stressed? Think about cutting back on the time you spend with that person or establish healthier relationship boundaries. For example, you might set certain topics off-limits, if you know that talking about them with that person makes you anxious.
• Choose your confidantes carefully. Know who to talk to about situations that make you anxious. Some people will help you gain perspective, while others will feed into your worries, doubts, and fears.

Worry and anxiety self-help tip #6: Practice mindfulness

Worrying is usually focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. In contrast to the previous techniques of challenging your anxious thoughts or postponing them to a worry period, this strategy is based on observing and then letting them go. Together, they can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems, while helping you get in touch with your emotions.

• Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.
• Let your worries go. Notice that when you don’t try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. It’s only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.
• Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.

Using mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but it takes practice to reap the benefits. At first, you’ll probably find that your mind keeps wandering back to your worries. Try not to get frustrated. Each time you draw your focus back to the present, you’re reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of the negative worry cycle.

Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Last updated: August 2013.