What Running a Business With Depression Really Looks Like

I'm a writer and business whisperer/coach/bringer-of-awesome, so I'm constantly telling people what to do, how to do it, when and for more money. But there's something I need to get off my chest before I tell one more person what to do, or how.
I've been battling clinical depression since 2001.
Following a semester abroad, I returned home in love but unwanted, disillusioned and exhausted to boot. The following semester, I spent hours under my desk curled into a ball. Sometimes crying, sometimes so wracked with pain that tears were beyond me.
Lucky for me -- I'm also an achiever. I keep getting shit done, no matter what, so I got straight A's while I wanted to die.
My achiever side also doesn't want to be too vulnerable, so only my roommate caught glimpses of that despairing soul who couldn't crawl out from under her desk. When I finally got myself to a doctor, I walked in, sat on the paper-covered table thing, and told him I wanted to kill myself. Plain and simple.
That was my introduction to the twenty milligram prescription that has saved my life.
There are plenty of people who will judge me for being on medication; let me say, I've tried working out, diet, stress-relief and praying it away over the course of more than a decade. One person I trusted told me that if I just believed in Jesus more, I'd be absolutely fine. I told her that if I had only Jesus in my bag of tricks, I would have killed myself by now. (No lie, and no joke.)
While no one questions the right of people with high blood pressure to take a pill -- or of people with diabetes or cancer or any other "real" disease to medicate their bodies -- people are always recommending ways for me to cure myself of depression. Only my brain is wired wrong. I've tried to go off the meds and have failed every time. (Please, tell me I'm not freaking alone in this!?)
And those are the people who believe depression is real! There's another camp: those who think I'm just sad, so I should just pick myself up and "get over it." Only I'm not sad.
Most of the time, depression doesn't feel like sadness. It just means you just don't give a shit.
In my case, depression at its worst means I don't want to leave the house -- and I don't give a shit about anything happening in it or outside of it. Johnny Depp could walk into the room and tap-dance; Batman could arrive to take me for a ride in his Batmobile; a herd of alpacas could arrive to sing "The Star Spangled Banner" with kazoos; still don't give a shit.
This means that, on particularly bad days -- which are rare, but still happen -- I don't actually care about my husband or my pets. Not even a little. Because they are included in the blanket of "not caring about anything" that descends. I don't care about myself, either, and languish in bed or on the couch. And if the house catches fire? Don't care. If I gain 10 pounds in 12 hours by eating only ice cream? Don't care.
Depression is deadly because you just don't care.
In business, this means that on those bad days I ignore e-mails (which is why I have a charming and lovely inbox mistress), ignore sales, push off meetings and sit. Not because sitting is better than all those things; because sitting is the epitome of not giving a shit.
Then, of course, I beat myself up for behaving so "badly," and the spiral descends, and descends ...
Depression means I have to fight to get out of the house, let alone enjoy myself.
I'm well-versed in how to have more fun in life because I have to fight for every ounce of it that I get.
Every time I find the energy to play games in the yard, to paint, to play tourist in my own town, or to take an impromptu trapeze/parasailing/ziplining lesson, I'm beating depression.
Because I refuse to let it win; I refuse to let myself sink into the mire of not giving a shit. I've fronted with my achiever self for all these years, telling you how to get more shit done and how to enjoy your business more. But the back story? The part where yes, I achieve and I teach and I write, but I also fight to give a damn about anything some days? You deserve to know that, too.
If you have depression, know that you're not alone. Know that you can make goals, whether business or personal, and actually have the pleasure of reaching them. (Yes, pleasure! Feeling, baby!)
Yes, there are bad days; days when you literally can't get out of bed and you feel like a zombie.
But when you get out of bed despite how you feel, you're kicking depression in the teeth. When you shower, even though you don't mind your own stink; when you put on real clothes, even though you're not going anywhere -- you're beating depression.
When you take care of your business and even plan for the next few months, even though you're not sure you're going to be around -- you're beating depression.
When you are present enough to laugh because your pets are being silly, or your best friends are making jokes that have roots in years of friendship; when you don't cancel that new thing you wanted to try -- when you actually go and do it -- you're beating depression.
Every time you enjoy even a second of your daily life despite the forces that are trying to keep you feeling nothing at all, you are winning. We are winning. And I'm so damn proud of us.
I know this is an ultra-sensitive topic, but I'd love to hear your stories, as well as any tricks you have for motivating yourself on your very worst days. It will help all of us fighting depression feel that we're not alone.
And if you've never had depression? Please leave a comment anyway to show your support. Because you don't know who's hiding their battle -- and your comment can provide the courage those people need to open up and share.
I don't know of any business owner that's talking about this, and I have a hunch that it affects many of us. Let's start a conversation.
Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristen-kalp/what-running-a-business-w_b_4809411.html

10 Signs You Should See a Doctor for Depression

When it's more than just the blues

by Esther Crain
Feeling down in the dumps every so often is a normal part of life. But when you're gripped by an unrelenting sadness or hopelessness that keeps you from going about your usual routine, it's time to pay attention: it's the hallmark sign of clinical depression, and an estimated 7% of adults will experience it, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Even with this telltale sign in place, it's tough for a depressed person to know if she really has the disease. "Almost all of the symptoms of depression on their own are experienced by everyone at one time or another," explains Jennifer Payne, MD, director of the Women's Mood Disorders Center at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. If you've been dealing with four or more of the following symptoms every day for two weeks, and they've impaired the way you usually function (for example, prevented you from working, being a responsible parent, or seeing friends), it's time to check in with your doctor.

You're eating more (or less) than usual
Depression leaves you withdrawn and checked out, and that can manifest as a loss of appetite. "If your brain is preoccupied with negative thoughts, you may forget to eat or lose interest in cooking or preparing meals," says Yvonne Thomas, PhD, Los Angeles-based psychologist specializing in depression and self-esteem. On the other hand, sometimes the disease kicks in the opposite effect, making you hungry and driving you to overeat. "The mix of emotions that tend to accompany depression—sadness, pessimism about the future, and low self-esteem—can compel you to try to soothe your feelings with food binges," says Thomas.

You're sleeping too much or too little
Some people with depression find themselves snoozing under the covers more; the disengagement and dip in energy make you tired all the time, says Thomas. "Sleeping more is also a way depressed people escape from their sadness; it becomes a refuge," she adds. Others with depression experience restless or interrupted sleep or even insomnia—they're too wired by obsessive thoughts or ruminations to wind down and score the seven to eight hours per night most adults need. Thing is, not only can sleep changes be a tipoff to the disease, but they also make it worse. When you're not getting the proper amount of shuteye, your body's internal clock gets out of sync, and you're even more tired and unfocused...and less able to cope.

Small things agitate you
It's a sneaky sign few people recognize: depression can show up as heightened irritability, says Jennifer Wolkin, PhD, clinical assistant professor in the department of psychiatry and anesthesiology at New York University's Joan H. Tisch Center for Women's Health. You might feel cranky and grumpy; little things that normally wouldn't register set you off and leave you snapping at friends and coworkers. Part of the prickliness may be the way depression exacerbates normal hormonal swings. But it could also be triggered by the weight of so many heavy emotions. "When people are in physical pain, they often get angry and irritated easily, and it's the same with psychological pain—you don't feel good or like your usual self, and that saps your patience and puts you more on edge," says Thomas.

You can't concentrate or focus
Forgetting work deadlinesA or when to pick up your kids from a playdate? Feel like your mind resembles an out-of-focus photo, and the fuzziness has made a dent in the way you weigh choices and make decisions? That's your brain on depression. Being preoccupied with thoughts of sadness and emptiness can plunge you into a head fog that affects your job, memory, and decision-making skills, says Wolkin. In turn, that unfocused thinking can lead you to make poor choices or take on unhealthy, risky behavior.

 You don't enjoy the things that once made you happy
You used to hit happy hour with your favorite group of coworkers, but for the last few weeks, you've been ducking out. Or you always looked forward to your nightly run, but these days, you can't muster the interest. Not taking part in things you once enjoyed because they no longer give you pleasure is a telltale sign of depression. "A person who is simply blue might skip a few outings, then get back in the swing of things," says Wolkin. "But depression makes you apathetic about activities and hobbies that once gave you joy, and that makes you isolate yourself." It sets up that vicious cycle: depression robs you of your ability to derive pleasure from experiences, so you stop doing the very things that could brighten your mood.

 You feel down on yourself and worthless
If you're constantly putting yourself down, or you feel worthless or inconsequential, something is up. "Repetitive thoughts along the lines of 'I'm not good enough' or 'I don't matter' are dangerous because they can fuel self-harming behavior," says Wolkin. When you think this way, you tend to find ways to verify the negativity, and that in turn makes you more depressed and more at risk. Extreme guilt for things you aren't solely responsible for—for example, a bad breakup or sudden job loss—also bashes your self-esteem and is a tip-off to depression, says Dr. Payne.

 You're preoccupied with thoughts of death
Persistent thoughts about ending your life, wondering how friends and family would feel if you went and did it, pondering different ways to carry out the act, and even general thoughts about death are all strong indicators that it's time to reach out for professional help, says Wolkin. "Because these thoughts pose such a direct threat to your life, it's important to seek help if you experience them daily or almost every day for two weeks, even if you don't recognize any other symptoms of depression in yourself," she says.

You're panicky and anxious
Overwhelming feelings of fear are usually thought to signify an anxiety disorder. And while that's often true, they can also be a clue to depression. "Anxious feelings often coincide with depression, and some depressed people have panic attacks," says Dr. Payne. Anxiety is more than just the normal apprehension most of us feel when we're challenged; it's a constant feeling of panic and obsessive thoughts that often show up in physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, excessive perspiration, and sleep problems. The tricky thing is, even though anxiety can signal depression, it's possible that a person with depression also has an anxiety disorder as well. If you feel overwhelming anxiety, consider it another crucial reason to seek help from your doc.

Your energy level has hit the wall
Depression-related lethargy may be simply the consequence of not eating enough or sleeping too much. But it's also the result of having a black cloud of sadness or hopelessness over you all the time. Dealing with chronic emotional pain is an energy suck, and it makes you too dragged and tired to tackle routine tasks, not to mention work and family responsibilities. "You feel overwhelmed by day to day life; even getting out of bed and taking a shower becomes exhausting," says Wolkin. When you're always tired and that fatigue impairs your life, it's time to seek help.

You're dealing with unexplained aches and pains
"Emotional pain from depression that you aren't getting help for can be channeled throughout your body and show up as physical ailments, like headaches, stomach problems, neck and back pain, even nausea," says Thomas. "I see this with many of my patients; they're holding so much sadness and distress inside, these feelings end up playing out in other ways." Not every cramp or twinge is a symptom of depression, of course. But if you're suffering from a chronic ailment you can't attribute to another cause that isn't clearing up on its own, "see a doctor to get it checked out, but also consider it a possible sign of depression too," says Thomas.
Source:  http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20854499_11,00.html#

Depression Also called: Clinical depression, Dysthymic disorder, Major depressive disorder, Unipolar depression

Depression is a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Depression has a variety of symptoms, but the most common are a deep feeling of sadness or a marked loss of interest or pleasure in activities. Other symptoms include:

• Changes in appetite that result in weight losses or gains unrelated to dieting
• Insomnia or oversleeping
• Loss of energy or increased fatigue
• Restlessness or irritability
• Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
• Difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions
• Thoughts of death or suicide or attempts at suicide



Depression is common. It affects nearly one in 10 adults each year—nearly twice as many women as men. It’s also important to note that depression can strike at any time, but on average, first appears during the late teens to mid-20s. Depression is also common in older adults. Fortunately, depression is very treatable.

How Depression and Sadness Are Different

The death of a loved one, loss of a job, or the ending of a relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response to such stressful situations. Those experiencing trying times often might describe themselves as being “depressed.” But sadness and depression are not the same. While feelings of sadness will lessen with time, the disorder of depression can continue for months, even years. Patients who have experienced depression note marked differences between normal sadness and the disabling weight of clinical depression.

Causes

Depression can affect anyone—even a person who appears to live in relatively ideal circumstances. But several factors can play a role in the onset of depression:

Biochemistry
Abnormalities in two chemicals in the brain, serotonin and norepinephrine, might contribute to symptoms of depression, including anxiety, irritability and fatigue. Other brain networks undoubtedly are involved as well; scientists are actively seeking new knowledge in this area.

Genetics
Depression can run in families.

Personality
People with low self-esteem, who are easily overwhelmed by stress, or who are generally pessimistic appear to be vulnerable to depression.

Environmental factors
Continuous exposure to violence, neglect, abuse or poverty may make people who are already susceptible to depression all the more vulnerable to the illness. Also, a medical condition (e.g., a brain tumor or vitamin deficiency) can cause depression, so it is important to be evaluated by a psychiatrist or other physician to rule out general medical causes.


Treatment

For many people, depression cannot always be controlled for any length of time simply by exercise, changing diet, or taking a vacation. It is, however, among the most treatable of mental disorders; the majority of people with depression eventually respond well to treatment, and almost all patients gain some relief from their symptoms.

Before a specific treatment is recommended, a psychiatrist should conduct a thorough diagnostic evaluation, consisting of an interview and possibly a physical examination. The purpose of the evaluation is to reveal specific symptoms, medical and family history, cultural settings and environmental factors to arrive at a proper diagnosis and to determine the best treatment.

Medication
Antidepressants may be prescribed to correct imbalances in the levels of chemicals in the brain. These medications are not sedatives, “uppers” or tranquilizers. Neither are they habit-forming. Generally antidepressant medications have no stimulating effect on those not experiencing depression.

Antidepressants may produce some improvement within the first week or two of treatment. Full benefits may not be realized for two to three months. If a patient feels little or no improvement after several weeks, his or her psychiatrist will alter the dose of the medication or will add or substitute another antidepressant.

Psychiatrists usually recommend that patients continue to take medication for six or more months after symptoms have improved. After two or three episodes of major depression, long-term maintenance treatment may be suggested to decrease the risk of future episodes.

Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy, or “talk therapy,” is sometimes used alone for treatment of mild depression; for moderate to severe depression, it is often used in combination with antidepressant medications. Psychotherapy may involve only the individual patient, but it can include others. For example, family or couples therapy can help address specific issues arising within these close relationships. Group therapy involves people with similar illnesses. Depending on the severity of the depression, treatment can take a few weeks or substantially longer. However, in many cases, significant improvement can be made in 10 to 15 sessions.

Depression is never normal and always produces needless suffering. With proper diagnosis and treatment, the vast majority of people with depression will overcome it. If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, see your family physician or psychiatrist, describe your concerns and request a thorough evaluation.

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
Electroconvulsive therapy is a medical treatment most commonly used in patients with severe major depression or bipolar disorder that has not responded to other treatments. It involves a brief electrical stimulation of the brain while the patient is under anesthesia. 

Source:http://www.psychiatry.org/depression

Untreated Depression

Untreated clinical depression is a serious problem. Untreated depression increases the chance of risky behaviors such as drug or alcohol addiction. It also can ruin relationships, cause problems at work, and make it difficult to overcome serious illnesses.

Clinical depression, also known as major depression, is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. Clinical depression affects the way you eat and sleep. It affects the way you feel about yourself and those around you. It even affects your thoughts.

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People who are depressed cannot simply “pull themselves together” and be cured. Without proper treatment, including antidepressants and/or psychotherapy, untreated clinical depression can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people with depression.

How does untreated clinical depression affect physical health?

There is mounting evidence that clinical depression takes a serious toll on physical health. The most recent studies exploring health and major depression have looked at patients with stroke or coronary artery disease. Results have shown that people with major depression who are recovering from strokes or heart attacks have a more difficult time making health care choices. They also find it more difficult to follow their doctor's instructions and to cope with the challenges their illness presents. Another study found that patients with major depression have a higher risk of death in the first few months after a heart attack.

How is sleep disrupted by untreated depression?

One of the most telling symptoms of clinical depression is a change in sleep patterns. Though the most common problem is insomnia (difficulty getting adequate sleep), people sometimes feel an increased need for sleep and experience excessive energy loss. Lack of sleep can cause some of the same symptoms as depression -- extreme tiredness, loss of energy, and difficulty concentrating or making decisions.

In addition, untreated depression may result in weight gain or loss, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, and irritability. Treating the depression helps the person get control over all of these depression symptoms.

Source: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/untreated-depression-effects