Fighting Depression

This is an information only website that has brought together lots of information about dealing with depression, beating depression various types of depression, and other mental health issues.
After personally suffering from depression I feel it is very important for people to share their experiences in the hope that someone else can benefit from reading them.

My personal journey though depression

From a very early age, I can remember being very agitated about some of the smallest things. What’s important to a child can of course be nothing of consequence to an adult, but at the time I can remember asking questions that seemed very important to me. Are we late? Is there going to be anybody there? I would be seriously worried about the outcome of the answer to would it rain on school sports day? What would we do? Would it be cancelled? If it didn’t rain, would everyone turn up? Did I look OK in my new sports strip? Were we on time? Being late for an occasion opened the door to a whole new set of worries. This sort of worrying may not sound too extreme, but I was only five or six years old.
As far as I can remember, my parents – who 99% of the time were great, never picked up on my excessive anxiety. I always felt fobbed off with a half-baked answer to most of my questions. I honestly feel that if it had been spotted and helped by them, then things may have been easier for me as a child. I’m conscious with my own children today that children need lots of support and lots of love and reassurance from their parents.
One of the more unusual things I used to worry about in my teenage years was the weather. The weather, in particular the wind, used to send shivers down my spine. It caused me to worry and fret about the slightest little thing. As an adult I’ve done a lot of reading, but have never come across this particular problem – I call it Weather Affective Disorder. It’s a close cousin of Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD, except that while SAD only affects people for a few months of the year, WAD affected me all year round. It could be wind, rain or even the blue sky that bothered me.
Despite my anxieties as a child, I was very good at sport and problem solving – I was also very creative.

  Bipolar starting

I joined the army when I was 16 and was happy to be involved in lots of sport and activities but I found the constant change, lack of information and constantly living in fear of the unknown hard to cope with. Where was I to be sent next and when? Would I like it as much as what I was doing currently? I worried constantly.
After being in the army for about six years I had had enough of the constant change and upheaval, so I decided to leave and have a go at something else. I gave my one year’s notice to leave. At that time the army had just made a lot of people redundant so I knew that I would still be sent out on active service in that year. Sure enough, I was sent to Northern Ireland on a six-month tour. On the whole that was a fun trip, and I had some good times with a good bunch of lads. After the six months we arrived back in our barracks in Germany to be told we had two weeks’ leave, after which we were to prepare to go to Bosnia for another six-month tour of duty. At this point I was due to leave the army and was going to start my resettlement training, so I was unhappy about this. This event seemed to act as a psychological trigger for me.
Our work in Bosnia was to build a runway so that NATO could launch air strikes if it needed to. When we arrived I knew something inside me was different, but still to this day I don’t know what it was – I just didn’t feel right. Our job was to build our own living area first, then to start on the runway. We started to build a tented camp the size of a small village which resembled something from MASH. When we got there it was the back end of summer and very hot, and the working days were short and bearable (with the occasional visit to the beach thrown in). The showers we built were just cattle shed frames with water pumped into the hollow metal frame, then we punched a hole into the frame with a nail and there you had a shower. The toilet was one long trench dug into the floor, right next to the road so all the passing traffic could see you (most of the traffic was military).
After two months the summer had gone and the wet season was upon us, and this is when my life began to change forever. The days were wet, windy and dark. Our uniform was always wet, our tents had lots of  water running through them and my sleeping bag and all my possessions were wet. It’s impossible to describe the feeling of getting into a wet sleeping bag with water still dripping on you, the tent being blown over night after night in the torrential downpours. Getting up in the morning having not slept a wink all night due to being soaking wet was horrendous, everything was wet or extremely damp for three months. My morale was at an all-time low. Then a ray of light; our troop commander said that it was our turn for a bit of rest and recuperation. Just what the doctor ordered – or was it?
We were sent to accomodation about 20 miles from camp, two single beds per room, en-suite shower and toilet, clean towels, dry clean beds, hot quality food, hot running water. It was heaven. To feel such comfort after such squalor was an amazing high, words cannot explain my elation.
For four whole days and nights we lived in relative luxury and ate good food. When the four days were up, we were bussed back to our tents. On the way back it started to dawn on me that I had left a very wet sleeping bag and clothes behind. When we arrived it was worse than I had expected. Whilst we were away the camp had been flooded and our tent was under a foot of water. I felt a terrible sinking feeling. It came over me suddenly; I just wanted to kill myself there and then. Life had no meaning at that point. I just burst into tears and sat there with my head in my hands wishing I was dead. As every second passed, I was going further down into a bottomless pit. I had been sitting there for what felt like hours when a medic came, picked me up and walked me to the tented medical centre.
That was the start of my bipolar life – a dizzying high followed by a catastrophic low. The treatment which followed was very basic, just a load of tablets to keep me quiet until I left the army in three months’ time.

There followed two disastrously unsuccessful stays in two different psychiatric wards. I won’t go into details just in case you need to have a short stay in one yourself. If you do, remember to never get angry, to keep smiling and telling them you’re OK or your stay will be longer than you think. After this I resigned myself to self-diagnosis. I did a lot of reading and came to the fairly easy conclusion of bipolar disorder (manic depression ), involving massive ups and massive downs.
Ten years later I had tried every antidepressant drug under the sun, none of which seemed to work for me – the side-effects were just as described in the leaflet, but the positive effects never materialised.

The Quest To Find Balance Begins!

So after many failed treatments from the doctors including herbal remedies, I decided to try and give my whole life and daily regime a good overhaul. This started with many hours of research to find the ultimate health plan, after these many hours of research they all led me to the same paths which were general lifestyle, diet and exercise.
So I decided to make a plan to start exercising again. This was really easy as I was used to it from the Army, so I made a conscious effort to visit the gym at least 3-4 times per week. I was off to a great start so no problem there.

The next thing that was really obvious was my diet. Wow although I am relatively slim and in shape my diet was shocking, so with the use of the internet it is now really easy to research how to eat properly. This again was relatively easy, it went something like this:
•    Swap black coffee with 2 sugars for Wulong tea ( in fact I cut out almost all caffeine and only drunk Wulong tea)
•    Swap breakfast fry ups for Jordans luxury muesli (except Sundays)
•    Swap  mid morning bacon buttie for a fruit salad (tough that one)
•    Swap egg and chips for lunch for salad bowl and fruit
•    Swap pie and chips for any lean protein with tons of any veg for evening meal
•    No fizzy crap drinks, or flavoured water, just sparkling mineral water
•    No alcohol mid week and only in moderation at the weekends
In fact I went as far as trying to reduce sugar in my diet to as low as possible
The same can be said for high carbohydrate food as well (Not that Atkins rubbish, just eating more lean protein). After doing all this I started to feel like things were really falling into place for me and I began to feel a lot better. I don’t know why but I still felt that one component was missing and it took me ages and ages to find out what it was.  So I kept a diary of my weeks activities and food intake and showed it to a friend of mine who is a nutritionist. She took one look and was quietly impressed, but she spotted right away that I had zero omega 3 in my diet at all!

The Omega 3 Hunt

So after sorting out my lifestyle my highs are now fairly manageable; they tend to upset those around me more than they upset me. As for the downs – I have them under control too.
After hearing that I was deficient in omega 3, I did some more research into what kinds of foods I needed to be eating to obtain this in my diet. Now apart from Hemp seed the only really natural food that is abundantly high in Omega 3 is fish … Noooo way, I can’t stand fish!  So I had to find an alternative to try and get this into my diet and the natural choice was Fish oil supplements as I was not prepared to eat fish!
I went along to my local supermarket and bought some fish oil. I sat back and waited for my more balanced moods that everyone talks about regarding omega 3, but there was no change.
In the mean time I was given a book to read about the benefits of Omega 3 fish oils, and about the benefits of something called EPA, an omega 3 nutrient. Having found a fish oil with a high EPA content, I again waited for the balance in mood to occur. Disappointed, I wondered if I was immune to fish oil, or if I still had the wrong type.
So I set about studying EPA fish oil in great depth, and what I found was to change my life.
I found that there are many grades of fish oil, from the old-fashioned cod liver oil right up to the Rolls Royce of fish oil – high-grade EPA concentrates. I searched for the highest grade of EPA that I could find. All the oils seemed to have unique selling points, but because of all the research I had done I could tell the hype from the truth. The biggest pointer I was given was that oil, like alcohol, has strength, and that the quantity wasn’t as important as the strength.
Again I searched for this elusive high-grade oil. It was apparent that all websites would use terms like ‘high-grade’ and ‘ultra strong’, which hampered my progress for genuine high grade oil. I eventually found a product that had some independent reviews and was allegedly one of the strongest oils available. I hoped this would be my solution, but again I felt no effect.
I rang the company involved and asked if I was doing something wrong, they asked how long I had been taking the oil for and how many capsules per day. They told me it was not a miracle cure, and that I would have to take four capsules per day for a minimum of three months for the oil to be fully absorbed. They also said that there were other things that could put the brakes on the absorption process, mainly your diet, (I had this under control).
So I upped my dose to four caps in the morning and stayed with my good eating habits, trying to cut out all the rubbish. Four weeks later I started to notice some very strange things happening to me; I was behaving a little out of character. My anxiety levels about very stupid things had all but gone. I had stopped worrying about my car breaking down when it was raining, and about low-level fast-moving clouds. I also started to notice that my anger levels aimed at my children were also rapidly disappearing; I was talking to them rather than ranting at them. Not to mention the rapid growth of my hair and nails.
Over the following months I noticed many things starting to fall into place. My moods were more balanced then they had been for 15 years. I found myself laughing at comedy on the TV, which was not normal for me. I started not to care about little things, and I found it easier to let things go whereas before they would nag at me for weeks on end. My concentration was nothing short of awesome, the ability to focus on a task was so much better, but the biggest thing had to be the balance of mood that this fish oil seemed to be giving me.
Absolutely 100% cured? No, but I am 95% better for having added it to my diet. If my old moods could be compared to a tidal wave, my moods now are gentle waves lapping on the shore, and they are very easy to manage.
I hope by writing about my experiences that something somewhere has fallen into place for someone else and that it may help.
I strongly suggest you go and have a look at adding this oil into your diet, the oil I am using at the moment is called Pura Apa it’s the strongest one I have found with an EPA concentration of 90% and contains no DHA (I found that some English Docs were suggesting there maybe a competing mechanism between EPA and DHA) and it seems to be working very well. If I switch in the future I will post the details of why and what to on this site.

Source:  http://www.fightingdepression.co.uk/?utm_source=Bing&utm_medium=CPC&utm_term=supplements%20to%20help%20with%20depression&utm_campaign=fighting%20depression%20old%20url

Coffee Can Ward Off Depression

"Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25, unless we haven't had our coffee, in which case we feel 107." -- Martha Beck
It's true that coffee can do wonders to perk us up in the morning and help us feel energetic and ready to face the day.  But now, new research has found another potential benefit to coffee drinking: Lowering your risk of depression.
The study, at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston, found that women who drink four or more cups of coffee every day have less of a chance of developing depression than those who drink only one cup or fewer.¹  The scientists followed nearly 51,000 women, with an average age of 63, who were taking part in the Nurses' Health Study.  The women were tracked between 1996 and 2006 to determine whether they had developed depression.  None of the participants had been diagnosed with depression prior to the research, nor were any of them taking antidepressants.
Over the 10-year course of the study, 2,607 cases of depression were reported among the subjects.  The women who drank at least four daily cups of coffee had a 20 percent lower risk of developing depression compared to the women who drank a cup or less each day.  Those who drank two to three cups a day were found to have a 15 percent lower risk of developing depression compared to those who drank less.  The researchers defined depression as a diagnosis in combination with a prescription for antidepressants taken long-term.  Decaffeinated coffee did not have any association with depression, positive or negative.
The scientists are not sure exactly why caffeinated coffee would reduce the likelihood of depression, but it does have certain effects within the body such as releasing the "feel good" chemicals dopamine and serotonin that improve mood.  Many experts in the field believe that an imbalance in serotonin levels or a serotonin deficiency can lead to depression.  Blood levels of serotonin have been determined to be lower in those diagnosed with depression, but no one knows if the levels of serotonin in their brains are correspondingly low.  Studies have shown, too, that when dopamine levels are decreased, depression is more likely.
Then again, it could be as simple as the correlation between fatigue and depression. Back in 2004, the World Health Organization sponsored a study that found that people who are depressed are more than four times as likely to develop unexplained fatigue, and those who suffer from fatigue are nearly three times as likely to become depressed.² Although the nature of the relationship between the two conditions is unclear, the study suggests that depression and fatigue may act as independent risk factors for each other. Thus caffeine may help relieve depression simply by helping to relieve fatigue.
The current research seems to bolster earlier findings about coffee lowering the risk of suicide as well.  A study back in 1996 at Harvard Medical School in Boston found a connection between women who regularly drink coffee and reduced suicide rates.³  Those who consumed two to three cups a day had nearly half the risk of suicide as their peers who did not drink coffee at all.
So, with all these benefits to our mental health -- not to mention other research that has found links between coffee and lower risk of breast cancer, prostate cancer, Alzheimer's disease, and more -- should we all start consuming coffee by the pot-full each morning?
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.  There are still a lot of issues regarding caffeine that we need to be concerned about.  One of the major problems with caffeine is that it can severely impact sleep patterns.  Yes, if you have a morning cup of coffee, 75 percent of it will clear your body by the time you go to bed.  But if you have a couple of cups of drip coffee in the morning, that means you will be going to sleep with some 50 mg still percolating in your veins -- more than enough to disrupt the depth and quality of your sleep.  And if you drink coffee throughout the day, or as an afternoon pick-me-up, the level in your blood at bedtime will climb dramatically.
There are other problems with caffeine as well.  It is a diuretic and can dehydrate you.  There have also been many studies linking caffeine intake by pregnant women with lowered birth weight and a significant increase in birth defects.  It has been associated with nervousness, irritability, gastrointestinal problems, headaches, and more. It's also probably worth mentioning that caffeine is routinely used to induce panic attacks in clinical experiments. When given caffeine doses of the equivalent of that in 4 - 5 cups of coffee, nearly half of panic disorder patients, experienced a reaction that was indistinguishable from a spontaneous panic attack.⁴ And really, are you looking to swap out depression for anxiety?
When it comes to coffee drinking, there are no clear cut, easy answers.  It's up to you to arm yourself with knowledge about both the upside and downside of caffeine consumption and do what you think works best for your body.  If you're a coffee drinker, keep moderation in mind and try to limit yourself to two cups early in the day. This will provide 75% of the maximum anti-depressive benefit, while at the same time minimizing any chance of negative side effects.  Try to avoid other sources of caffeine on the days you are drinking coffee.  And don't discount getting a good night's sleep and living a healthier lifestyle -- with the right improvements, you may not feel such a strong need for that morning jolt of java every day.

¹ Lucas, Michel; Mirzaei, Fariba; Pan, An; et al. "Coffee, Caffeine, and Risk of Depression Among Women." Archives of Internal Medicine. 26 September 2011.  American Medical Association. 14 November 2011. <http://archinte.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/171/17/1571>.
² Petros Skapinakis, Glyn Lewis, Venetsanos Mavreas. "Temporal Relations Between Unexplained Fatigue and Depression: Longitudinal Data From an International Study in Primary Care." Psychosomatic Medicine 66:330-335 (2004) <http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/content/66/3/330.full>
³ Kawachi, I.; Willett, W.C.; Colditz, G.A.; et al. "A prospective study of coffee drinking and suicide in women." Pub Med. 11 March 1996.  National Center for Biotechnology Information. 14 November 2011. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8604958?dopt=AbstractPlus>.
⁴ Bruce MS, Lader M. "Caffeine abstention in the management of anxiety disorders." Psychol Med. 1989 Feb;19(1):211-4. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=2727208>

Source:http://jonbarron.org/article/coffee-can-ward-depression#.Vpz03VkgFvM

How to deal with the Xmas blues

Christmas depression and stress

Christmas for most people is a fun time of year, filled with parties, celebrations, and social gatherings with family and friends. For many people however, it is a time filled with sadness, self-reflection, loneliness, and anxiety.

What causes Christmas blues?

Sadness is a truly personal feeling. What makes one person feel sad may not affect another person. Typical sources of sadness over Christmas include:

• Stress
• Fatigue
• Unrealistic expectations
• Over-commercialisation
• Financial stress
• The inability to be with one's family and friends
• Reminders of loss and bereavement

Balancing the demands of shopping, parties, family obligations, and house guests may contribute to feelings of being overwhelmed and increased tension. People who do not view themselves as depressed may develop stress responses, such as:

• Headaches
• Excessive drinking
• Over-eating
• Insomnia

Others may experience sadness after New Year's Day. This can result from built-up expectations and disappointments from the previous year, coupled with stress and fatigue.

Tips for coping with Christmas stress and depression

Just like an advent calendar, here are 25 tips for coping with Christmas stress and depression:

1. Keep your expectations modest

Don’t get hung up on what the Christmas holidays are supposed to be like and how you’re supposed to feel. If you’re comparing your festivities to some abstract greeting card ideal, they’ll always come up short. So don’t worry about festive spirit and take it as it comes.

2. Do something different

This year, does the prospect of the usual routine fill you with Christmas dread rather than joy? If so, don’t surrender to it. Try something different. Have Christmas dinner at a restaurant. Spend Boxing Day at the cinema, or get your family to agree to donate the money to a charity instead of exchanging presents.

3. Lean on your support system

If you’ve been depressed, you need a network of close friends and family to turn to when things get tough. During Christmas, take time to get together with your support network regularly -- or at least keep in touch by phone to keep yourself centred.

4. Don’t assume the worst

Don’t start the Christmas season anticipating disaster. If you try to take the festivities as they come and limit your expectations -- both good and bad -- you may enjoy them more.

5. Forget the unimportant stuff

Don’t run yourself ragged just to live up to Christmas tradition. So what if you don’t get the lights on the roof this year? So what if you don’t get the special Christmas mugs down from the loft? Give yourself a break. Worrying about such trivial stuff will not add to your festive spirit.

6. Volunteer

You may feel stressed and booked up already, but consider taking time to help people who have less than you. Try volunteering at a soup kitchen or helping someone to do their shopping.

Source:  http://www.webmd.boots.com/depression/guide/christmas-depression-stress

Stress Management How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress

Stress Management

How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress

You may feel there’s nothing you can do about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and your work and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have more control over stress than you might think. Stress management is all about taking charge: of your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. No matter how stressful your life seems, there are steps you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.

What is stress management?

We all respond to stress differently so, there’s no “one size fits all” solution to managing stress. But if you feel like the stress in your life is out of control, it’s time to take action. Stress management can teach you healthier ways to cope with stress, help you reduce its harmful effects, and prevent stress from spiraling out of control again in the future.
No matter how powerless you may feel in the face of stress, you still have control over your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you can’t, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation. The first step is to recognize the true sources of stress in your life.

What are the sources of stress in your life?

Start a stress journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)
• How you felt, both physically and emotionally
• How you acted in response
• What you did to make yourself feel better

It’s easy to identify sources of stress following a major life event such as changing jobs, moving home, or losing a loved one, but pinpointing the sources of everyday stress can be more complicated. It’s all too easy to overlook your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that contribute to your stress levels. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is causing the stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

• Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
• Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”)?
• Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.

How do you currently cope with stress?

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.

Unhealthy ways of coping with stress

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:

Smoking Drinking too much Bingeing on junk or comfort food Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities

Using pills or drugs to relax Sleeping too much Procrastinating Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)

Learning healthier ways to manage stress

If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.

Stress management strategy 1: Get moving

Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress, but you don’t have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to experience the benefits. Just about any form of physical activity can help relieve stress and burn away anger, tension, and frustration. Exercise releases endorphins that boost your mood and make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction to your daily worries.
While the maximum benefit comes from exercising for 30 minutes or more, you can start small and build up your fitness level gradually. Short, 10-minute bursts of activity that elevate your heart rate and make you break out into a sweat can help to relieve stress and give you more energy and optimism. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving. Here are a few easy ways:

• Put on some music and dance around
• Take your dog for a walk
• Walk or cycle to the grocery store
• Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator
• Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way
• Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you workout
• Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids

Managing stress with regular exercise

Once you’re in the habit of being physically active, try to incorporate regular exercise into your daily schedule. Activities that are continuous and rhythmic—and require moving both your arms and your legs—are especially effective at relieving stress. Walking, running, swimming, dancing, cycling, tai chi, and aerobic classes are good choices.
Pick an activity you enjoy, so you’re more likely to stick with it. Instead of continuing to focus on your thoughts while you exercise, make a conscious effort to focus on your body and the physical (and sometimes emotional) sensations you experience as you’re moving. Adding this mindfulness element to your exercise routine will help you break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that often accompanies overwhelming stress. Focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements, for example, or notice how the air or sunlight feels on your skin. Getting out of your head and paying attention to how your body feels is also the surest way to avoid picking up an injury.
When you’ve exercised, you’ll likely find it easier to put other stress management techniques to use, including reaching out to others and engaging socially.

Stress management strategy 2: Engage socially

Reach out and build relationships

• Reach out to a colleague at work
• Help someone else by volunteering
• Have lunch or coffee with a friend
• Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly
• Accompany someone to the movies or a concert
• Call or email an old friend
• Go for a walk with a workout buddy
• Schedule a weekly dinner date
• Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club
• Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach

Social engagement is the quickest, most efficient way to rein in stress and avoid overreacting to internal or external events that you perceive as threatening. There is nothing more calming to your nervous system than communicating with another human being who makes you feel safe and understood. This experience of safety—as perceived by your nervous system—results from nonverbal cues that you hear, see and feel.
The inner ear, face, heart, and stomach are wired together in the brain, so socially interacting with another person face-to-face—making eye contact, listening in an attentive way, talking—can quickly calm you down and put the brakes on defensive stress responses like “fight-or-flight.” It can also release hormones that reduce stress, even if you’re unable to alter the stressful situation itself. Of course, it’s not always realistic to have a pal close by to lean on when you feel overwhelmed by stress, but by building and maintaining a network of close friends you can improve your resiliency to life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.
Reach out to family and friends and connect regularly in person. The people you talk to don’t have to be able to fix your stress; they just need to be good listeners. Opening up is not a sign of weakness and it won’t make you a burden to others. In fact, most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your bond. And remember, it’s never too late to build new friendships and improve your support network.

Stress management strategy 3: Avoid unnecessary stress

While stress is an automatic response from your nervous system, some stressors arise at predictable times—your commute to work, a meeting with your boss, or family gatherings, for example. When handling such predictable stressors, you can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose in any given scenario, it’s helpful to think of the four A's: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.

Avoid the stressor

It’s not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but you may be surprised by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

• Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. Distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts” and, when possible, say “no” to taking on too much.
• Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship.
• Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. If traffic makes you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.

Stress management strategy 4: Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

• Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase.
• Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
• Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you’ll find it easier to stay calm and focused.

Stress management strategy 5: Adapt to the stressor

How you think can have a profound effect on your stress levels. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. Regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude to stressful situations.

• Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
• Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
• Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”

Stress management strategy 6: Accept the things you can’t change

Many sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors, such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.

• Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control—particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
• Look for the upside. When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
• Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Stress management strategy 7: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors.

Develop a "stress relief toolbox"

Come up with a list of healthy ways to relax and recharge. Try to implement one or more of these ideas each day, even if you're feeling good.

Go for a walk Spend time in nature Call a good friend Play a competitive game of tennis or racquetball Write in your journal Take a long bath Light scented candles

Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea Play with a pet Work in your garden Get a massage Curl up with a good book Listen to music Watch a comedy

Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

• Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
• Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
• Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Stress management strategy 8: Adopt a healthy lifestyle

In addition to regular exercise, there are other healthy lifestyle choices that can increase your resistance to stress.

• Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
• Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.

Source:  http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm

• Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
• Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

Source:http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm 

 

 

EXCLUSIVE: Sarah Silverman Tackles Depression in New Film, Opens Up About Her Mother's Death

Sarah Silverman spoke to ET about her battles with depression, and while talking about her new film I Smile Back also opened up about her mother's death last month.
In the dramatic indie film, which premiered at Sundance and will screen at the Toronto International Film Festival this weekend, Silverman plays a mother-of-two living in suburbia who struggles with depression and addiction. To capture this character, the 44-year-old comedian drew upon her real-life experience.
"I've had my experience with depression, having a mother that also had experience with depression and being a child of that and being an adult with that and seeing both sides of it and trying to see what that is," Silverman shared.
WATCH: Sarah Silverman's Mom, Beth Ann O'Hara, Dies
Silverman's mother, Ann O'Hara, died on Aug. 19 at 73, and a few days later, she shared a touching tribute on Twitter. "Wednesday morning my Mom died," she wrote. "She was a know-it-all in overalls and two different colored socks. And defiantly, no bra."

O'Hara touched many lives, having founded the theater company New Thalian Players in Manchester, New Hampshire, where she produced and directed 50 plays over 25 years. For her work, Silverman got to present her mom with a lifetime achievement award at the New Hampshire Theater Awards in 2003.
"One time, she said, 'Sometimes all you have to do is be brave,'" Silverman recalled to ET. "Just meaning sometimes you just have to exist through things and they pass or you get to the other side."
PHOTOS: Stars We've Lost In Recent Years
Silverman keeps remembrances of her mother close by and even wore her overalls during our interview.
"She painted many sets and many grandchildren's nurseries in this," she lovingly remembered. "She was something else. She was one of a kind that one. I may never take these off."
I Smile Back opens Oct. 23. To see Silverman's dramatic turn, watch the full trailer below.
Source: 
Sarah Silverman spoke to ET about her battles with depression, and while talking about her new film I Smile Back also opened up about her mother's death last month.
In the dramatic indie film, which premiered at Sundance and will screen at the Toronto International Film Festival this weekend, Silverman plays a mother-of-two living in suburbia who struggles with depression and addiction. To capture this character, the 44-year-old comedian drew upon her real-life experience.
"I've had my experience with depression, having a mother that also had experience with depression and being a child of that and being an adult with that and seeing both sides of it and trying to see what that is," Silverman shared.
WATCH: Sarah Silverman's Mom, Beth Ann O'Hara, Dies
Silverman's mother, Ann O'Hara, died on Aug. 19 at 73, and a few days later, she shared a touching tribute on Twitter. "Wednesday morning my Mom died," she wrote. "She was a know-it-all in overalls and two different colored socks. And defiantly, no bra."

O'Hara touched many lives, having founded the theater company New Thalian Players in Manchester, New Hampshire, where she produced and directed 50 plays over 25 years. For her work, Silverman got to present her mom with a lifetime achievement award at the New Hampshire Theater Awards in 2003.
"One time, she said, 'Sometimes all you have to do is be brave,'" Silverman recalled to ET. "Just meaning sometimes you just have to exist through things and they pass or you get to the other side."
PHOTOS: Stars We've Lost In Recent Years
Silverman keeps remembrances of her mother close by and even wore her overalls during our interview.
"She painted many sets and many grandchildren's nurseries in this," she lovingly remembered. "She was something else. She was one of a kind that one. I may never take these off."
I Smile Back opens Oct. 23. To see Silverman's dramatic turn, watch the full trailer below.

17 lies your anxiety is telling you

If you suffer from anxiety you’ll know all about the pesky little lies the condition can tell you when it takes hold.
Lies we can sometimes believe every single day, for years.
But you’re not the only one suffering and these thoughts are very common.
Here’s 17 lies your anxiety is telling you.
You cannot be trusted to remember anything
So you must continue to write every single solitary thing down. In case you forget something world-ending.
Everyone is staring at you. And judging you
You’ve worn something new to work, you’ve tried that new hairstyle, and everyone has noticed. And not in a good way.
Is your grandmother not picking up the phone? Best go out and buy something black
Because she’s not just at her Bridge Club. Or pottering round in the garden like she does every afternoon.

8 simple everyday tips for dealing with anxiety that actually work

These palpitations are a heart attack. You are having a heart attack on the toilet at work
Because as if exiting this mortal coil wouldn’t be bad enough, everyone will talk about you for months afterwards.
You need to get used to having panic attacks, because they’re not going anywhere
Because there’s obviously no way of you learning to control them.
Your friends are fed up of you
They are totally over how much you worry about the smallest, silliest things. 
You? Go on a date? You’ll just embarrass yourself
Why on earth would anyone want to listen to what you’ve got to say anyway? Just cancel it and stay at home.

16 things you only know if you have anxiety

All your hard work is ruined…
Because you didn’t go to the gym for a week or made one mistake at work.
You’ve got to go out and meet a new group of people tonight. You won’t manage to hold this together
They’ll think you are an absolute fool.
You need to achieve all your life ambitions in the next 12 months
You just do. You can’t possibly get things done the year after next. No way.
You didn’t send that email before you left work. You’ll be sacked without a second thought first thing in the morning
You had better lay awake until 3am worrying about that.

6 things not to say to somebody with anxiety

The person you’ve been seeing for a while hasn’t text you back for four hours. It’s all over
They’re bored of you. They have met someone else far better looking. They’re almost certainly not just a bit busy.
It’s all you.
Even though everyone just laughed at your joke, they still think you’re an idiot
They’re just laughing to appease you. The minute you go to the toilet they will start talking about how dumb you are.
In a relationship? You will mess it up
Because you spend so long worrying about stuff. Which will drive your other half to insanity.
Heaven forbid you might find someone that actually understands or you might get better.
Even if you get the courage up to talk to someone, they will think you are crazy
No chance you might stumble across someone that feels the same or gets where you are coming from.
You are crazy, let’s be honest
Because nobody in their right mind would spend that many hours worrying about a text message.
Or worrying about if the chicken in the fridge is going to kill them.
Or that all their friends will soon stop talking to them for no reason.
This is how you are going to be forever
There’s no help and no way to get your head round the amount  you worry.
So just sit there some more and worry about the worry. Don’t consider talking to someone. Just worry some more.

Source:http://metro.co.uk/2015/11/22/18-lies-your-anxiety-is-telling-you-5436226/

Understanding Depression

THE first step towards overcoming depression is understanding it. What it is, how it works, and what it does to us.
UNTIL NOW, it has been difficult to link the psychological elements of clinical depression to the physical symptoms.
Now, however, a new breakthrough so profound has changed our ideas of what depression actually is.
And this breakthrough makes depression much, much easier to treat.
It shows us exactly what we have to do to halt depression in its tracks.
And precisely what will stop it coming back.
It removes all uncertainty, and most of the fear from depression.

If you suffer from, or treat depression, this is the most important page of the whole Depression Learning Path.

 

Depression, Dreaming and Exhaustion: The New Link

How your thoughts affect you physically

"Depressed people dream up to three times as much as non-depressed people."

This is a startling, and illuminating fact. And when combined with a recent breakthrough in dream and depression research by Joseph Griffin of the European Therapy Studies Institute, it gives us a clear understanding of the how depression affects us physically.

 

The Cycle of Depression

 

What dreams do

If you are, or have been depressed, you may have noticed that you ruminate, or worry a lot during those periods. Typically, these ruminations are emotionally-arousing as they are carried out using 'All or Nothing thinking' (more on this later in the section) and a negative bias. That is, you have a thought and you feel unpleasant after it - anxious, angry or helpless.
The trouble with this sort of emotional arousal is that it doesn't do anything. The thought creates the emotional reaction (usually anxiety or anger) and that's it.
What this does is leave an uncompleted 'loop' in the brain's limbic (emotional) system.
Normally, the emotion would be 'played through' by action being taken. For example: You think "That's a tiger in the bushes", feel anxious, then run away. The cycle has been completed. Or, someone annoys you, you shout at them, and the cycle is completed.
(By the way, we are not advocating the 'playing out' of anger as a therapeutic technique. All that does is makes people more angry!)

 

But what happens when the cycle doesn't complete?

When these emotionally arousing introspections remain incomplete at the onset of sleep then the brain needs to 'do something' with the emotional 'loops' that have been started.
What it does is create scenarios that allow those loops to complete. We call them dreams. The dream acts out, in metaphor, a situation that will allow the emotional loop to be completed and therefore 'flushed' from the brain. In other words, an imaginary experience whose pattern resembles the 'real life' one enough to create the same emotional reaction.
Normally, this does its job, and everything stays in balance.
However, because you do so much more ruminating, or introspecting, when depressed, the brain has to increase the amount of dreaming you do. And before long you are:

1. Spending too much time in dream sleep (Rapid Eye Movement - REM) and missing out on physically-rejuvenating Slow Wave Sleep.
2. Depleting your hormonal system with extended night-time emotional arousal.
3. Exhausting your 'orientation response' - a crucial brain activity that allows you to change your focus of attention and so motivate yourself. It is also a key part of concentration.

 

Recurring dreams

If you are continuously having the same problems or ruminating in the same way then you may experience recurring dreams (the same dream over and over). This usually continues until the situation changes or you begin to deal with it in a less negatively arousing way.

 

Why are my dreams so weird?

Dreams exaggerate the feelings they represent from waking life, so even if you have just had a fleeting moment of anger at someone during the day, the dream that flushes this out may involve you becoming furious.
As an aside, dreams usually just 'borrow' imagery from the your surroundings.
So, for example, images from a recent T.V program may be used by the dream when representing something from real life. So the fact that you kill your brother in a dream, for example, doesn't necessarily mean you have any problems with your brother at all!

 

Depressive thinking styles mean more arousal

Depressive thinking styles will tend to cause more negative emotional arousal, and therefore more dreaming. This extra dreaming is to try to 'clear the brain' for the next day, but because our negative arousals are excessive when depressed, our natural rhythms find it hard to cope with this "over-dreaming":

 

Why is over-dreaming bad for me?

Basically, because dreaming is hard work.
Dreaming itself is not a restful activity. Dreaming is called 'paradoxical sleep' because brain wave patterns are similar to those of the brain when completely awake.
Dreaming is a state of arousal.
As far as much of your brain is concerned, your dream is real. So adrenaline and other stress hormones in your system will be active in the body.
This is a double edged sword, because over-dreaming, as well as using up these hormones and energy, is actually making it harder for the body to make more. As you try to flush out the incomplete emotions, you spend more time in REM sleep, and therefore less time in deep sleep, when your body should be recuperating in preparation for producing these hormones for the next day.
So if you are over-dreaming you're not resting but flooding your system with adrenaline and other stress hormones. If most of your sleep consists of dreams, your body and mind will begin to feel very tired during the day. Depressed people often report that the worst time of day is first thing in the morning.
Sometimes a depressed person may start waking up early in the morning and not be able to get back to sleep. This may be a way of the body trying to cut down on over-dreaming in order to try and lift depression.
This depletion is also why depressed people often feel at their worst first thing in the morning.
As the day progresses, their hormones replenish themselves and their energy levels increase, and they are better able to motivate themselves.
Here's a more complete picture of how depression works:

(Note: Levels of the stress hormone cortisol are much higher in depressed people.(1))
And because we can clearly see that what maintains the clinical symptoms of depression is emotionally arousing introspection, or rumination, we know exactly how to deal with it. Cut down the amount of emotional arousal.
Source:  http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/dlp/understanding-depression/understanding-depression/