Learn Tips and Tools for Helping Yourself or a Friend
In This Article:
What depression feels like
When you’re depressed, it can feel like no one
understands. But depression is far more common in teens than you may
think. You are not alone and your depression is not a hopeless case.
Even though it can feel like depression will never lift, it eventually
will—and with proper treatment and healthy choices, that day can come
even sooner.
Signs and symptoms of teen depression
It's hard to put into words how depression feels, and
people experience it differently. There are, however, some common
problems and symptoms that teens with depression experience.
- You constantly feel irritable, sad, or angry.
- Nothing seems fun anymore, and you just don’t
see the point of trying.
- You feel bad about yourself—worthless, guilty,
or just "wrong" in some way
- You sleep too much or not enough.
- You have frequent, unexplained headaches or other
physical problems.
|
- Anything and everything makes you cry.
- You’ve gained or lost weight without consciously
trying to.
- You just can’t concentrate. Your grades may
be plummeting because of it.
- You feel helpless and hopeless .
- You’re thinking about death or suicide. (If
this is true, talk to someone right away!)
|
Is your friend depressed?
If you’re a teenager with a friend who seems down
or troubled, you may suspect depression. But how do you know
it’s not just a passing phase or a bad mood? Look
for common warning signs of teen depression:
- Your friend doesn’t want to do the things you guys
used to love to do.
- Your friend starts using alcohol or drugs or hanging
with a bad crowd.
- Your friend stops going to classes and afterschool activities.
- Your friend talks about being bad, ugly, stupid, or
worthless.
- Your friend starts talking about death or suicide.
When teen depression turns deadly
If your feelings become so overwhelming that you can’t
see any solution besides harming yourself or others, you need to get
help
right away. And yet, asking for help when you’re in the
midst of such strong emotions can be really tough. If talking to a
stranger might be easier for you, call
1-800-273-TALK
in the U.S. to speak in confidence to someone who can understand and
help you deal with your feelings. To find a suicide helpline outside the
U.S., visit
Befrienders Worldwide.
Coping with suicidal thoughts
In the meantime, the following suggestions can help get you through until you feel ready to talk to someone:
- There is ALWAYS another solution, even if you can’t see it right now. Many
kids who have attempted suicide (and survived) say that they did it
because they mistakenly felt there was no other solution to a problem
they were experiencing. At the time, they could not see another way
out, but in truth, they didn’t really want to die. Remember that no
matter how horribly you feel, these emotions will pass.
- Having thoughts of hurting yourself or others does not make you a bad person. Depression
can make you think and feel things that are out of character. No one
should judge you or condemn you for these feelings if you are brave
enough to talk about them.
- If your feelings are uncontrollable, tell yourself to wait 24 hours before you take any action.
This can give you time to really think things through and give
yourself some distance from the strong emotions that are plaguing you.
During this 24-hour period, try to talk to someone—anyone—as long as
they are not another suicidal or depressed person. Call a hotline or
talk to a friend. What do you have to lose?
- If you’re afraid you can’t control yourself, make sure you are never alone.
Even if you can’t verbalize your feelings, just stay in public places,
hang out with friends or family members, or go to a movie—anything to
keep from being by yourself and in danger.
Above all, do not do anything that could result in
permanent damage or death to yourself or others. Remember, suicide is a
"permanent solution to a temporary problem."
Help is available. All you need to do is take that first step and reach out.
Talking to an adult you trust about teen depression
If you are suffering and don’t know where
to turn...
In the U.S., call the Nineline.org hotline for children and teens at
1-800-999-9999. It’s free, confidential, and available from 4:00 PM to 8:00 PM, Eastern Time, seven days a week.
In the UK, call the
Childline.org.uk helpline for children and teens at 0800 1111.
In Australia, call the
Lifeline.org.aus 24-hour helpline at 13 11 14.
In Canada, call the
KidsHelpPhone.ca helpline at 1-800-668-6868.
It may seem like there’s no way your parents will
be able to help, especially if they are always nagging you or getting
angry about your behavior. The truth is, parents hate to see their
kids hurting. They may feel frustrated because they don’t understand
what is going on with you or know how to help.
Many parents don’t know enough about depression to
recognize it in their own kids, so it may be up to you to educate
them. You can refer them to this site, or look for further information
online. Letting your parents know that you are feeling depressed will
probably motivate them to get you the help you need.
If your parents are abusive in any way, or if they have
problems of their own that makes it difficult for them to take care of
you, find another adult you trust (such as a relative, teacher,
counselor, or coach). This person can either help you approach your
parents, or direct you toward the support you need. If you truly don’t
have anyone you can talk to, refer to our resources at the end of this
article. There are many hotlines, services, and support groups that can
help.
No matter what, talk to someone, especially if you are
having any thoughts of harming yourself or others. Asking for help is
the bravest thing you can do, and the first step on your way to feeling
better.
The importance of accepting and sharing your feelings
It can be hard to open up about how you’re feeling—especially when you’re feeling depressed, hopeless, ashamed, or worthless.
It’s important to remember that everyone struggles with
feelings like these at one time or another. They don’t mean you’re
weak, fundamentally flawed, or no good. Accepting your feelings and
opening up about them with someone you trust will help you feel less
alone.
No matter what it feels like, people love and care
about you, and if you can muster the courage to talk about your
depression, it can—and will—be resolved. Some people think that talking
about sad feelings will make them worse, but the opposite is almost
always true. It is very helpful to share your worries with someone who
will listen and care. They don't need to be able to "fix" you; they
just need to be good listeners.
What you can do to feel better: Tips for depressed teens
Beating depression, one day at a time
You can’t beat depression through sheer willpower,
but you do have some control—even if your depression is severe and
stubbornly persistent. The key to depression recovery is to start with a
few small goals and slowly build from there. Read
Dealing with Depression
Depression is not your fault, and you didn’t do
anything to cause it. However, you do have some control over feeling
better. Staying connected to friends and family, making healthy
lifestyle decisions, and keeping stress under control can all have a
hugely positive impact on your mood.
In the meantime, you might need therapy or medication
to help you while you sort out your feelings. Look into your treatment
options with your parents. If medication is being considered, do your
research before making a decision, as some antidepressants used for
adults can actually make teens feel worse.
Try not to isolate yourself
When you’re depressed, you may not feel like seeing
anybody or doing anything. Just getting out of bed in the morning can
be difficult, but isolating yourself only makes depression worse. Make
it a point to stay social, even if that’s the last thing you want to
do. As you get out into the world, you may find yourself feeling
better.
Spend time with friends, especially those who are
active, upbeat, and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid hanging
out with those who abuse drugs or alcohol, get you into trouble, or who
make you feel insecure. It’s also a good idea to limit the time you
spend playing video games or surfing online.
Keep your body healthy
Making healthy lifestyle choices can do wonders for
your mood. Things like diet and exercise have been shown to help
depression. Ever heard of a "runners high"? Exercising releases a rush
of endorphins, which makes you feel instantly happier. You actually get a
rush of endorphins from exercising, which makes you feel instantly
happier. Physical activity can be as effective as medications or
therapy for depression, so get involved in sports, ride your bike, or
take a dance class. Any activity helps! Even a short walk can be
beneficial.
As for food, an improper diet can make you feel
sluggish and tired, which worsens depression symptoms. Your body needs
vitamins and minerals such as iron and B-vitamins. Make sure you’re
feeding your mind with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
Talk to your parents, doctor or school nurse about how to ensure your
diet is adequately nutritious.
Avoid alcohol and drugs
You may be tempted to drink or use drugs in an effort
to escape from your feelings and get a "mood boost," even if just for a
short time. However, substance use can not only make depression worse,
but can cause you to become depressed in the first place. Alcohol and
drug use can also increase suicidal feelings. In short, drinking and
taking drugs will make you feel worse—not better—in the long run.
If you’re addicted to alcohol or drugs, seek help. You
will need special treatment for your substance problem on top of
whatever treatment you’re receiving for your depression.
Ask for help if you’re stressed
Stress and worry can take a big toll, even leading to depression.
Talk to a teacher or school counselor if exams or classes seem
overwhelming. Likewise, if you have a health concern you feel
you can’t talk to your parents about—such as a pregnancy scare
or drug problem—seek medical attention at a clinic or see a
doctor. A health professional can help you approach your parents
(if that is required) and guide you toward appropriate treatment.
If you’re dealing with relationship, friendship, or family
problems, talk to an adult you trust. Your school may have
a counselor you can go to for help, or you may want to ask
your parents to make an appointment for you to see a therapist.
Helping a depressed friend
Depressed teens typically rely on their friends more than
their parents or other adults in their lives, so you may find
yourself in the position of being the first—or only—person
that they talk to about their feelings. While this might seem
like a huge responsibility, there are many things you can do
to help.
- Get your friend to talk to you. Starting
a conversation about depression can be daunting, but you
can say something simple: "You seem like you are really
down, and not yourself. I really want to help you. Is there
anything I can do?"
- Know that your friend doesn’t expect you
to have the answers. Your friend probably just
needs someone to listen and be supportive. By listening
and responding in a non-judgmental and reassuring manner,
you are helping in a major way.
- Encourage your friend to get help. Urge
your depressed friend to talk to a parent, teacher, or counselor.
It might be scary for your friend to admit to an authority
figure that there is a problem. Having you there might help,
so offer to go along for support.
- Stick with your friend through the hard times. Depression
can make people do and say things that are hurtful or strange.
But your friend is going through a very difficult time, so
try not to take it personally. Once your friend gets help,
he or she will go back to being the person you know and love.
In the meantime, make sure you have other friends or family
taking care of you. Your feelings are important and
need to be respected, too.
- Speak up if your friend is suicidal. If
your friend is joking or talking about suicide, giving possessions
away, or saying goodbye, tell a trusted adult immediately.
Your only responsibility at this point is to get your friend
help, and get it fast. Even if you promised not to tell,
your friend needs your help. It’s better to have a
friend who is temporarily angry at you than one who is no
longer alive.
Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_teenagers.htm