How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Method 1 of 2: Reducing Sources of Worry
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1
Reduce your collection.
Despite the fact that today's technology is smaller and more useful than
ever, we all seem to end up surrounded by stuff we no longer use or
care about. It can seem like a pain to take the time and trouble to get
rid of it, but you'll be glad you did once the task is finished.
- Get rid of everything you haven't used in a year or more, unless it
was either terribly expensive or a family heirloom. Have a garage sale,
use eBay, or simply donate your extra dishes, clothes, toys, books,
movies, games, and other items to a charity.
- Expensive and/or heirloom items you haven't used in a long time
should be gently boxed up and stored in an attic, a basement, a garage,
or even a rarely-used bedroom closet.
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2
Assign space. One of the
most common prescriptions psychologists give for curing insomnia is to
set aside the bedroom for sex and sleeping only. By creating a
dedicated, assigned space for specific activities, you convince your
brain to engage in those activities whenever you enter that space. Take
this method to heart as much as your space allows:
- Remove TVs, desks, computers, and other such distractions from the
bedroom. Store clothes and books there instead. Only spend time in the
bedroom when you're changing clothes, grabbing a book, going to sleep,
or getting it on. Don't read in bed.
- Clean the clutter off of your dining room/breakfast nook table. If
you don't have a dining room or a breakfast nook, but you do have a
table, clean it up. Only use the table for eating and paperwork (bills,
studying, writing, and so on). Make a commitment to clearing your dishes
after every meal.
- Maintain your kitchen. It's rare that you'll ever make so many
dishes in a single day that you can't get them all washed within 30
minutes in the evening. Clean up every day so you can continue to use
the kitchen for cooking and not have to worry about the mess.
- Put time-consuming activities in an office or the living room. Keep
computers, TVs, video game consoles, and other such activity items in
general areas. Train your brain to associate these areas with leisure
activities and hobbies. You'll be able to get things done in the other,
utilitarian areas of the house with much greater efficiency.
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3
Set a budget. One of the
simplest and most effective steps you can take to reduce worry caused
by your complex life is to budget your expenses. There's nothing
mysterious or difficult about it:
- Track your expenditures for a week or two. Don't worry about
controlling it yet; just spend as you normally do. You can keep track on
your phone or with a pad of paper.
- Divide up your expenditures according to general type of purchase.
For example, many typical budgets have categories for gas, food,
entertainment, and impulse buys. Take each category and multiply it so
you have a monthly spending estimate.
- Add another category for bill payments, and yet another for savings
(if you're saving money). That's your budget. Try your best to stick to
it in order to avoid having to worry about how much money you can afford
to spend in one place or another.
- Your budget will also be useful in helping you make changes to save
more money or purchase less in a given category. Just lower the amount
in one category, and raise it in whichever other one you like. Stick to
that budget to effect the change.
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4
Organize your time. You
can set a budget for your time just as you can set a budget for your
money. Since you're trying to reduce worry rather than increase it, go
into this process with a focus on maximizing your personal time, rather
than cramming as much as you can into each day.
- Set a sleep schedule. Stick to it, even on weekends. Give yourself a
one-hour target window for bedtime in the evening, and set a strict
time to get up in the morning. Be sure that the space between your
bedtime and the start of your day gives you roughly an hour more than
the amount of sleep you actually need, so you won't lay down and start
worrying about whether or not you'll fall asleep on time.
- Take care of tasks at the same time every day. Plan time for daily
hygiene, commuting, work, shopping, eating, and chores. Add in time for
anything else you do most days, such as homework, exercise, or an active
hobby. Put them in a specific order that works for you. All the time
left over is your free time, to use for relaxation or whatever else you
want.
- To maximize your free time, try to combine trips outside the home.
For example, you might plan to go shopping on your way home from work,
to save the extra trip.
- For many people, an irregular work schedule makes this kind of
budgeting difficult, but you can still plan to work around your schedule
in the same order every day, and just shuffle the times.
- Consider canceling TV service. It's a drastic step for some people,
but TV's scheduled programming can disrupt an otherwise-adequate daily
schedule. Most people find that they don't miss TV service as much as
they thought they would after a few days without it. Invest in a paid
video streaming service instead, so that you can watch TV shows when
it's convenient for you.
- DVR sets that record shows for you to watch later are also a viable
option if you can't stand the thought of waiting 8 months to see the new
season of your favorite show, but be sure to resist the temptation to
turn on the TV just because it's there. Once you start watching, you
typically spend more time than you'd intended to, which cramps the rest
of your day and makes you feel rushed.
- Reduced Internet usage is also a good idea if you can manage it, but
since most people also use the Internet for practical daily business,
this can be much more difficult. Start with TV and see how that works
out first.
- Budget flexibly. Different days call for different approaches. Maybe
you eat take-out every Monday night, or have a standing date with
friends on Saturday afternoon. Be cognizant of that fact and mentally
double-check your basic plan every morning. Add time to take care of
whatever you need to take care of that day, with a little flex room on
either side.
Method 2 of 2: Taking Charge of Your Mind
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1
Cultivate empty moments.
It's easy to fill every waking moment of your free time with smartphone
apps, social media browsing, TV, books, hobbies, and more, but it isn't
always a good idea. Sometimes what you need isn't a distraction, it's a
moment to yourself. There isn't a lot of free time in the day, for most
people, but it isn't hard to find a couple of five-minute windows where
you can drop everything and be alone with your thoughts.
- Use your empty time to think about whatever you want, or just lay
back and look at the patterns on your ceiling or the leaves on a tree
near your window. Don't fill it with anything that requires your
attention to be enjoyed, such as a book or a smartphone.
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2
Take time to clear your head.
Even the most overworked adult can find half an hour once a week to set
aside for quiet meditation and reflection. Meditation is a powerful
technique for organizing your thoughts and feelings, and all it requires
is a quiet spot without many distractions. Sit comfortably and focus on
your breathing until the rest of your thoughts become quiet. That way,
you can go over them without feeling overwhelmed by them.
- This is also a great time to set weekly goals or remind yourself of
tasks that need to be completed soon, such as shopping trips and yard
work. Feel free to keep a pad of paper and a pen or pencil close at hand
when you meditate, so you can list and organize everything that comes
up. You can use your notes to help guide the week ahead, reducing chaos.
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3
Be rational. Often,
people worry about things they have limited control over, such as
whether or not they got a new job (after an interview) or what a new
acquaintance really thought of them. These worries are hard to help
completely, even though it's obvious that worrying won't change their
outcomes. However, that doesn't mean you can't do your best to remind
yourself not to worry. Make a conscious effort to focus your attention
elsewhere, and let events take their course as best you can.
- Try to respect yourself. If something doesn't work out the way you'd
hoped, review the course of events in your head and try to focus on
what you did right or how hard you tried, rather than “where you messed
up.” Chances are, the results had little to do with your actions, and
more to do with those of others. If you endlessly self-criticize, you'll
only worry more the next time a similar situation comes up (and be more
likely to make a nervous mistake). Believe that you did your best, and
that you'll do your best next time as well. There's no good reason to
fret over things that have already come and gone.
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4
Take a plunge. A lot of
the time, your worries will revolve around whether or not you can
successfully do something. Despite some things being largely up to the
winds of chance (as mentioned above), you can compensate nicely by
undertaking other endeavors on your own. Pick anything you've always
wanted to do, want to do better, or want to start doing again, and give
it a shot.
- Remember, there's nothing to lose from trying something for your own
enjoyment. Therefore, there's no good reason to worry about how well
you'll do. Just compete against yourself and do your best not to worry
what others might think.
- Keep trying and working at things that interest you. You'll succeed
more often than you might think, and begin to worry a lot less as you
realize that 75% of success is just getting out there and trying. People
who seem successful and happy are people just like you, except that
they never let their worries stop them from giving things another shot.
- The things you try don't have to be flashy, or significant to anyone
except you. You could take up a new hobby, such as knitting or martial
arts, or you could just make a commitment to smile more often at work.
The goals you set are yours to attempt and achieve. Pursue anything
you've ever wanted to pursue. You'll be delighted with the results more
often than not.
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5
Live in the moment.
Don't obsess about the future; instead, focus on living in the present.
It's fine to plan ahead sensibly and set goals, but the important thing
is living your life as it is now, and not worry about what is already
past or what the distant future might hold.
- Practice self-acceptance. As mentioned previously, excessive
self-criticism is a major source of worry. A part of us listens to what
we say about ourselves, whether we want it to or not. If you're always
down on yourself, you won't be able to enjoy anything. Telling yourself
you'll do better in the future is one thing; refusing to feel proud of
yourself and happy with the steps you've taken to make your life
enjoyable right now is a different beast.
- Remember that people are essentially self-centered. When you make an
embarrassing mistake or scene, it can cause all your worries to spring
back to life with a vengeance, making you half-catatonic with fear and
self-doubt. The fact is, everybody has such gaffes now and again, and
most people aside from the person who slipped up either forget about it
completely or disregard it soon thereafter. Nobody is obsessively
watching your every move; in fact, most people won't even remember what
you said to them a month ago unless you say it to them again. There's no
reason to carry shame and embarrassment with you after the fact.
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6
Count your blessings. Like most old adages and proverbs, this one gets repeated ad infinitum
because it's actually very wise advice. Set aside your resistance to
cliché for a moment and think about all the advantages you have. You're
reading this article on the Internet, which means you either have or can
borrow Internet access. It also means you can read, which is something
not everybody can do. All but the most hopeless and pitiable lives have
an abundance of good in them. Find yours, and remind yourself to be
grateful for it every day.
- Put your life in context. If you live in a building with a roof and
walls, be grateful for that instead of worrying that it's too humble or
too run-down. If you don't have a home, be grateful for the clothes on
your back. If you live somewhere with harsh weather, be grateful that it
sometimes passes and becomes pleasant. Be grateful that you can think
for yourself, comprehend beauty, and dream of better things.
- No matter your situation, if you're reading this article, you can
find things to appreciate about your life. Think of them whenever you
find yourself sitting and worrying instead of acting and enjoying life.
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7
Limit your responsibilities.
There are some people who worry because they are trying to take care of
everyone and everything around them, or because they read about
problems elsewhere in the world and feel as though they are never doing
enough to help. It's good to be supportive and charitable, but taking it
too far will turn you into a used-up mess of nerves and frustration.
Make a conscious effort to remind yourself that other people, like you,
are more capable than they realize, and that you don't always need to be
there for everyone at every turn.
- People who have everything taken care of for them, such as coddled
children, end up ill-equipped to function in the adult world, which
means that sometimes not helping is actually the best help you can give.
- It's also important to remind yourself that others care just as much
as you do about social issues and charitable causes. It's okay to let
them share the burden of responsibility; often it's the only way to make
it bearable. This doesn't mean you should stop caring; rather, it means
you should take pride in what you do and stop worrying that it isn't
good enough. It is.
- Set a limit for yourself. This could be a limit to the amount of
time you spend helping others, a limit to the money you spend to support
them, or just a limit to how much time you spend worrying about the
world's problems. Design a limit based around the type of caring you
engage in that causes your worry.
- Remember, worrying never fixed anything, and there are some things
you can't fix no matter how badly you might want to. Force yourself to
set your worries aside past a certain point, and do whatever you have to
do to enforce that limit.
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8
Trust yourself. At the
end of the day, there are some things that nobody can really control:
weather, death, natural disasters, and other such unstoppable forces are
a part of life on Earth. Learn to place faith in your own ability to
handle them. You can't change the way such things behave, so all you can
really do is prepare for them, and trust in yourself to do what you can
when faced with them.
- For example, thousands of people get into car accidents every year,
but people continue to use cars because they trust themselves to do
everything they can to avoid such an eventuality: driving safely,
wearing seatbelts, learning from past mistakes, and responding quickly
to changes on the road ahead of them. Take the same attitude with every
uncontrollable force in your life.
- It's sensible to prepare for misfortune. Things like emergency food
and water, first-aid kits, and fire extinguishers are wise investments
in your continued safety. However, be sure when you prepare that your
preparations are easing your worries rather than fueling them. Don't
give in to urges to buy and prepare more and more. The goal is to find a
reasonable balance, say "this is enough," and get on with your daily
life.
Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Worrying-and-Start-Living
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